Today, I discovered that my ex-girlfriend writes erotic fiction describing all of my moves in intimate detail. The whole internet gets to critique my entire sexual repertoire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I found out my ex started a Tumblr where she posts one photo a day. Each photo being a pic I texted her over the course of our relationship. My office, the bars I like to go to, favorite restaurants, my mom's place, my place, my penis, etc. FML
Today, my mom found a book of dirty stories I'd written in tenth grade. She then told me that I wrote about things she'd never even thought about, and she's been having sex for years. If that wasn't bad enough, she's taken them in to work to show people. FML
Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
Today, my sex-crazed ex wrote me a letter so bad, it haunts me that I let a guy with such terrible grammar skills touch my boobs. FML
Today, during a family gathering, my mom, grandmother, and aunts started talking about an erotic novel they're all reading on Amazon. My cousin asked for the writer's name and I heard my pseudonym in response. My entire family is reading my horribly-written porn. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend has an online blog that he updates every time we have sex. It’s ridiculously detailed, right down to the slight difference in the pink of my vagina and the slightly darker pink of my asshole. He's a dead man when he gets home from work. FML
Today, I received an e-mail from my girlfriend's parents telling me that all the dirty e-mails I've been sending to her while she is away have been accessible by the whole family. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML
Today, I found out my boyfriend still writes Twilight fan fiction. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
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Top comments
missyfiona89 28
Where can we read what she wrote?
jtfrisch 22
I'm sure the Internet is going to give you some good pointers
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Comments (95)
Dramori 29
Are you Mr Gray?
science-teacher 15
Grey?
cj75 18
#14 both spellings are correct
demamcgirl16 21
Not when he's trying to refer to "50 Shades of Grey"
Mortoli 30
exactly. lol
SadLittleTurtle 11
Good. If your girlfriend seems unsatisfied, the commenters might point out what you're doing wrong.
MRSwick2525 23
Its the EX-GIRLFRIEND!!!! And usually Erotica is not written to complain about unsatisfactory sex.
siggy_mcsigx 22
No, no, no. even if (especially if) he fails in bed it is a private matter between him and then girlfriend and he does not deserve to be scrutinised by horny randomers. (I know my thing says male but I am female, just in case anyone thought I was biased )
xoxoblondee 31
I once wrote erotica about me and the 11th doctor. His bow tie really gets me going.
Miss_Chevious 37
The tenth is way hotter though
HerMischief 21
Absolutly!
xoxoblondee 31
That's a matter of opinion. I like 11 most. Some like 10. Whatever flies your tardis
MandieL 27
My Neice and I argue over it lots. I'm in love with the 10th, and she the 11th.
gallifreyanqueen 10
Both are oddly attractive in their own right!
Siriusly521 12
The tenth is way better
xoxoblondee 31
11 was my first; you never forget your first.
Hyenayena 27
10 is hot, 11 is goofy cute :p
Jowisee 29
Get some tips :)
jtfrisch 22
I'm sure the Internet is going to give you some good pointers
vikky538 29
What if everyone criticises OP on the internet
KingBobtheThird 16
64, you must not understand sarcasm.
Xeebar 28
Hey. Think of it this way. If you were great in bed then you have nothing to worry about! This *is* FML though... Hm...
notgivenupyet 7
take it as a compliment
hoosiergirl94 31
It's not about the size of the boat, it's the motion of the ocean
1dvs_bstd 41
if you say so.
bandaidstations 28
You can't cross the Pacific Ocean in a canoe though.
13ky13 20
It's tough to get to England in a row boat.
phreaker913 21
it's not how deep you fish, it's how you wiggle your worm
1dvs_bstd 41
I wanna read it. OP, link? Please?
beeferjay 34
google it, lol. Google knows everything
beeferjay 34
#58
missyfiona89 28
Where can we read what she wrote?
beeferjay 34
google
worldclassrager 41
caffieri Probably