Today, my ex won a writing competition. His story was inspired by our relationship. In it, I'm a serial killing prostitute. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my ex got dumped by his girlfriend. Seeing my opportunity, I sent him a song I'd written for him, about how much I still love him. He sent it on to the girl who had just dumped him, claiming he had written it. They're now back together. FML
Today, my boyfriend gave me a really sweet poem that he wrote for me. I think it was secondhand - the first letter of each verse spelled his ex girlfriend's name. FML
Today, after submitting a 500-word essay to a writing contest, I found out that I lost to someone who wrote 3 sentences. FML
Today, my creepy, stalker ex-girlfriend was given an anonymous love letter. She's convinced it's from me. FML
Today, I won the lottery. My ex-girlfriend has the ticket. I just broke up with her. FML
Today, after I got dumped a few months ago, I wrote a love letter to win her back. Romantic, right? She didn't think so. She called the cops. Now I may lose my job and my pension, and have to start life over at 40. FML
Today, I was reminded that I'd submitted a short story to a writing competition months ago when I got an email saying I'd won second place. I excitedly forwarded it to friends and family. A few minutes later, another email arrived, explaining they'd contacted the wrong person. My celebration lasted exactly eleven minutes. FML
Today, I ran into my ex-boyfriend a few years after I slept with his boss and got him fired. He is now a multi-millionaire investor and won't take me back. FML
Today, my boyfriend asked me to write him a poem, as I am an avid writer. Happily, I agreed. After hours of working, I proudly presented it to him. He read it, laughed, and said, "No babe, I meant a real poem." Maybe I should rethink my career choice. FML
Today, in class, everyone read my Creative Writing submission. It was a touching story about the unconditional love that exists between dog and his owner. Everybody unanimously agreed that it was probably about bestiality. FML
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Top comments
_GoodGuy 11
Oh god, "serial killing prostitute." Just the sound of that makes me wince. I'm curious how the story goes... OP, tell more details, what's the name of the book?!
Joshwarrior 39
Did he include you in his acknowledgements? And you should ask for a signed copy while holding a knife.
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Comments (78)
\ 28
I couldn't ask for a more humiliating, yet awesome title... :) Write a followup where you victimize her :)
horsesaboveppl 9
His ex is a guy
jajajapun 5
they're both guys
\ 28
Oops... Misread
_GoodGuy 11
Oh god, "serial killing prostitute." Just the sound of that makes me wince. I'm curious how the story goes... OP, tell more details, what's the name of the book?!
JACKxRAWR 22
In reality OP is a prostitute killing cereal.
Mossears133 15
63- Hang on a second! Is the prostitue killing the cereal, or is the cereal killing the prostitue?????
UnidentifiedFun 37
The name of the book was probably Grand Theft Auto.
beastseclipse 9
"Story inspired by our relationship"... Oh dear God
Joshwarrior 39
Did he include you in his acknowledgements? And you should ask for a signed copy while holding a knife.
Chiara92_fml 32
He hasn't a good opinion of you,does he?
monsterMEG 8
That sounds like a good read!
ChenEighty 20
Some people write in a way that is talking about your life, then lying about it a bit. Repeat this process and you have a completely fictional but inspired story. Don't take it personally.
Joshwarrior 39
her* my bad
Bakarra 22
OP is of the homosexual variety sir, nice try though.
Joshwarrior 39
haha thank you, i just finished writing a 25 page paper and read with my first comment being right about gender, but then i saw the first comment, got confused and half asleep corrected myself. Instead of correcting myself twice i just let it go.
feldco1 17
At least it's not your current bf? Hopefully he changed your name at least.
vic55jets 13
I think op is a guy
doctor_glitter 6
That has nothing to do with this fine lady's comment, but yeah you're right, he's a dude.
miss_madison 10
I'm really not sure how I would take that. Mm… sounds pretty cool. I would probably be happy with the title.
Hazelino 25
Wait.. Netherlands? I know that competition!
Bakarra 22
Tell us the name of the story!