Today, I discovered that I have to share a room with my new stepbrother. I also discovered that he takes the same number of showers over the course of two weeks as I do in a single day: one. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my new roommate took a shower. This would be a good thing, except for the fact that it's apparently taken her two months just to take this one. I have to live with her for another year. FML
Today, I discovered my new step-dad has a rule about the shower. After three minutes, he turns the water off at the source. I had to beg him to turn it back on whilst covered in shampoo suds, and the only way I could get him to give me another minute was to forfeit my phone for the week. FML
Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML
Today, I discovered that my stepbrother has been telling his friends that I'm his girlfriend. FML
Today, I woke up to my step-mother taking a shower in my bathroom. Of course, this would be fine, if my bathroom wasn't connected to my room and closet, or that I live in an apartment in their back yard, built before she moved in. FML
Today, while watching TV in my dorm, I clearly heard my roommate yell to someone proudly, "I've only taken a shower 4 or 5 times since I've been here." He's been my roommate for four months. FML
Today, I realized that my roommate has been using my loofah to clean our toilet. I've been cleaning myself with the shit of four college boys for the last six months. FML
Today, I actually had to have a discussion with my boyfriend about why he should shower more than once a week. FML
Today, I realized my morbidly obese, sweaty sibling is the source of a strange waft I've been smelling when I get home. He'll only shower once a week, so the apartment and furniture smell like sweat and sometimes poo, especially on hot days. I didn't notice until I went outside and stepped back in to follow my nose. FML
Today, I went over to the house of a guy I have hooked up with a few times. After we got done, I asked him why we were not in the room across the hall. He said that was his twin brother's room. FML
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Top comments
the17doctor 12
at least you dont have to worry about him hogging the shower.
drawmesunshine 17
The living room is looking pretty darn inviting, eh?
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Comments (125)
mariet_fml 23
Tell your parents that if they don't make him shower, they had better not yell at you for dumping water on him everyday.
Jibblets2367 7
Shit in his bed sheets every night so every morning when he wakes up, he feels the need to shower
KiddNYC1O 22
Nasty. Nicely worded.
Epikouros 32
Positive reinforcement is the most effective way to change people's habits. Just tell him you will orally please him if he showers more often.
AmbrosiaWriter 17
You're assuming both the OP and the stepbrother are gay.
phatdaddy62 23
Who ******* cares?
xXRazelleLuniiXx 9
103- I care. In fact, very passionately.
Daelite 0
Holy shit.. Thats awful.. Hope all changes soon
daylife 7
dump him in the tub while he's sleeping, that's what i'd do!
lizard399 0
Yeah I wouldn't know how to approach that.. Maybe make subtle hints like "bro did you need to use the shower before me?" or pick him up a can of body spray. I'm sure he knows that he smells.. but no point in being rude about it. He probably needs a lady friend as motivation to keep clean lol
doonerz 0
at least he is not a skunk......
crokid720 0
Rub ur balls on his drumset!!!!!!! The best movie
clutz123 5
i like the way you worded that :)