Today, I discovered that I have been falsely accusing my sister of stealing my makeup. How do I know this? Because I found said makeup in the trunk of my boyfriend's car, next to a bag that had fishnet tights and red stilettos in it. Oh, and the stilettos are his size, in case you were wondering. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my sister confessed to me that she sold some of my old shirts to the girl who's stalking me. This explains why I got a note that read, "I have your scent, now I can track you." FML
Today, my car went missing. My sister constantly asks to borrow it, so I called her and asked if she had it. She swore blind that she didn't, so I called the cops and reported it stolen. They soon caught her driving the stolen vehicle. She blames me and is now telling everyone I set her up to be arrested. FML
Today, I found out my sister has been "borrowing" my adult toys and putting them back without washing them well enough. How did I find out? I came back positive for an STI. FML
Today, I found ladies knee-high socks that weren't mine. I don't even own a pair of knee-high socks. After bickering back and forth with my boyfriend, he said, "Actually now that you mention it, I thought they were yours and I put them there." FML
Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML
Today, I was staying over at my boyfriend's house, sleeping in his sister's room while she is away at college. I left my necklace on her dresser. When I came back, it was gone. His mother saw it there and thought it was her daughter's necklace. She hid it so I wouldn't "steal it". FML
Today, my sister confessed that when she runs out of clean underwear, she uses mine. That wouldn't be so bad if she didn't also put it back in my dresser afterwards so I wouldn't notice. FML
Today, I found a pair of women's underwear in the laundry that wasn't mine. I confronted my boyfriend about it. They were his. FML
Today, I found out who's been stealing clothes from me during swim practice. She called me a liar, despite wearing one of my sweaters, which has my initials stitched into it. FML
Today, I found out that my ex-boyfriend stole a pair of my underwear, and still wears them to this day. FML
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Top comments
Milk_Emperor 8
Hahaha, I don't know who got the shittiest end of the stick: you, your boyfriend or your sister. That'll be some awkward family conversations. Good luck.
pcentral 17
I want a gentleman in the streets, but a freak in the bed...?
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Comments (188)
abrainiac13 6
It's obviously for the Rocky Horror Picture Show!!!
CarouselHeart 11
And you dumped him? (Since your username says SingleAgain). That's cold!
RokNRoll11 9
Optimist outlook: he over measured your shoe size.... Pecimist (don't know how to spell that word): he's cheating on you with big footed girl Realist: bitches please he's a cross-dresser
klx125cross 9
Damn! Hahahah
Fellsnows 5
Well he sounds like a lovely lady
buca100 4
Still much better than them being for another girl.
pikachu05748 0
Drag queen.... (•o•)/
SuzyTurquoiseBlu 25
My husband and I have the same size shoe. This is really disturbing *goes searching for any missing high heels*...
Survivor2001 10
Hey maybe he's a rocky horror fan
Laceshoes 6
Drag queen? I think that is either a good or bad thing. If the heels are his size, and the other articles of clothing aren't, get scared. Makeup is the last of your problems.