Today, I discovered I have a cyst on my backside. I can't get it removed until Friday. I have to sit through four midterms this week. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I have six exams next week, and as of this morning, I also have appendicitis. FML
Today, I had a cyst in my butt removed. The doctors had to make a hole, and then fill it with gauze before sending me home. As soon as I got back, my sister decided to kick me in the butt as hard as she could. FML
Today, I had a surgery to remove a cyst from my butt. Afterwards, the doctor told me that the cyst was bigger than he initially thought, it would still secrete fluids for two weeks, and the best remedy for this was to wear a Maxi Pad. I'm a guy, and am currently wearing a Maxi Pad on my butt. FML
Today, I have been dealing with painful lymphedema and I'd finally got a doctor's appointment, but they called and cancelled last minute. Here's to another week being in pain… FML
Today, I awoke to an excruciating pain in my back from sleeping in the same position all night. I can't wipe my own ass. I've already gone to shit twice. FML
Today, I found out my postpartum pain is indeed because of a cyst. No, my doctors can’t drain it and relive the pain because of scar tissue. And yes, it hurts around my lady bits and in my butthole, because the cyst wraps around everything. It’s either wait it out in extreme pain or surgery. FML
Today, I found out I have an abscess in my bellybutton which causes me extreme pain and discomfort when I sit down. I am a receptionist. FML
Today, I had to leave class early due to a profusely bleeding pimple on my forehead. FML
Today, I was forced to spend three hours looking at a fat guy's butt crack, seated directly in front of me during an exam. I'm pretty sure it lowered my grade. FML
Today, I found out that instead of having four wisdom teeth, I have eight. They all have to be removed as soon as possible, which happens to be over the Christmas break. I get to spend my whole vacation in excruciating pain and a swollen face to boot. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
blackheart24 10
I trust the doctor.
DocBastard 40
No, that's an abscess (pus-filled horror show). A cyst is a sac with a lining filled with fluid or debris, depending on the type of cyst.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (189)
CopeStraight 3
Pop that sucker yourself
heavymetalman1 0
Smoke a bowl and pop that bitch
NEEPLES 7
Bring a pillow. I'm sure the host of the test will understand if you explain the situation.
DocBastard 40
I love FMLs like this, because all the amateur doctors start making diagnoses and giving advice because they or their brother/sister/mother/roommate/ex-boyfriend had something almost exactly a little tiny bit similar. Bring it on, docs! Let's hear your best shit.
every1luvsboners 11
Doc, one time I had what I thought was a wart on my scrotum so I chopped it off with the little pair of scissors in my Swiss Army Knife and put it in a little jar. The next day I noticed that this little wart was growing a penis. So out of curiosity I taped it back to my scrotum just to see what would happen. So, three weeks later, I sit here as the only man on the planet with two penises. (that I know of) True story.
iAmPaul 49
Doc, you're such an arrogant asshole. Stop trying to be better than everyone, because you're not. Personally, I don't care if you're a real doctor or not, but I sure as he'll wouldn't want you as my family doctor in real life because of that repulsive attitude of yours. 'Nuff said.
SummerFever 8
His attitude on here is normally due to the massive number of illiterates that post stupid shit.
every1luvsboners 11
Shut the **** up Paul. You're still mad because he never paid you for that ******** that you gave him last week. You gotta tickle his bawls a little to get paid, you idiot. GTFO here with that retard bullshit, you inbred piece of garbage.
KiddNYC1O 22
86- I say... don't worry, be happy!
ikickgingers 15
Get a donut. Sit on it. Go to the doctors after. Solution. Wow, that was fun. What do I win?
Freeze_fml 17
Being cynical is a way to tune out the stupidity.
DocBastard 40
Paul, please fill out these forms and have a seat in the waiting room. I'll call you into the exam room after making you wait for 4 hours. Then I'll perform your prostate exam with a Louisville Slugger aka Boners' penis. I'm not a family physician, moron, and if you were my patient I would fire you for being an idiot. Gingers, your prize depends on the type of doughnut: glazed or jelly-filled?
ikickgingers 15
I like them plain.
Daralea 21
Just do it yourself. All you need is a cheese grater.
mserrato 8
Sorry man you just have to power through the pain
zanguard 0
Looks like this week is going to be a pain in the ass...
deadman93 8
such a great pun!
zanguard 0
I do try.
deadman93 8
That's all that matters haha
ieatunicorn4fun 7
I like a cheezburga :D
bevsta 7
Dats nasty
mfluffy14 3
lean forwards?
FruityLoooons 8
Why do the comments that sympothizes with the OP always get thumbed down? :/