Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
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Top comments
TheDrifter 24
Good idea, flee and leave them for the next poor sucker to deal with.
Miss_Attitude96 24
I don't understand how hard it is for people to flush the toilet. Seriously, I am a junior in high school and there are disgusting girls that leave their used pads and tampons in the toilets. It's gross.
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Comments (135)
asherm 15
Next time flush before opening lid...
seasick8x1 3
You should always flush before lifting the lid or if it is already up, dont look into the bowl and flush first, that way there aren't any unwanted surprises for you :)
seasick8x1 3
@ lexiiii I had the same thought, but then I thought maybe it was a bathroom at a restaurant or something, I think thats considered public, right?
Ashybebe 2
Maybe you should talk to a therapist or something. Human waste isn't pleasant to say the least but fear of it shouldn't cause you such anxiety or impact your life so negatively.
OhDearBetrayal 25
At least we've moved on from taking shit and pisses in buckets and throwing them out into the street.
NHope_fml 17
Next time, you should go in a restaurant, even if you have to pay a little things to drink or to eat, it wouldn't be worse than that. Big FML for you.
Rascal93 7
haha! this is Hilarious
xRezSynn 15
How hard is if for people to flush...
WolfAtTheDoor 7
At least the poo was IN the toilet. Flush it, then do your thing, and get out. Now, if there had been poo smeared all over the toilet seat and used tamps strewn about, I'd agree with you for fleeing. But it's just a couple floaters, hon, flush it.
Xxblackice 13
I once walked into a guy's restroom at theatre to take a poopie upon opening the stall there was poopie all over the walls a bloody tampon sticking out of a huge turd in the ceiling and a poopie smeared trail from the stall door to the toilet
JiggyBoo123 11
How was there a tampon in the mens' room?
Xxblackice 13
I still ask myself that today
erichsalvesen 13
What a waste of skin.