Today, I desperately needed to pee, so I decided to confront my anxiety issues and use a public toilet. I opened the lid, only to see several huge, rancid floaters staring back at me. I had an attack, started sobbing, and pissed myself on the way home. Never again. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I had to take a dump at work. I walked into the bathroom and opened a stall, only to find what I can only describe as a fecal crime scene. It was like a turd had exploded mid-air. It was so vile, my anxiety kicked in and I broke down into a sobbing panic attack. FML
Today, despite my fear of using public restrooms, I was forced to anyway to avoid my bladder exploding. I was finally getting over it when someone stuck their head under the stall to "see if someone's in there". I'm scared more now than I was before. FML
Today, I was hit with a sudden urge to shit. I knew it was going to be a bad one, so I ran out of the meeting. I made it to the toilet in time, but I forgot to lift the lid. FML
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I really had to go to the bathroom. Due to my fear of public restrooms, I made sure it was clear before I started. I heard someone sigh halfway through. Embarrassed, I waited a full ten minutes before leaving the stall, only to see that it was only the automatic air freshener. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, after a shopping trip, I had the worst diarrhea attack and almost shat my pants before I could even get in the front door. By the time I could get the door open, it was taking all of my self-control to keep from shitting myself. I had to shit on the toilet with the front door and bathroom door wide open. FML
Today, I thought I was going to shit myself at work. I speed-walked all the way to the bathroom clenching for dear life. Barely got my pants down while simultaneously sitting and unleashing. After all that, it was just a gigantic fart. FML
Today, I was at work at my local hospital. I went to the toilet to empty my bladder; the door was half open so I assumed it was empty. Upon opening the door, I was greeted with a half naked old man, who then yelled at me and violently shat himself, all over the walls and floor. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
TheDrifter 24
Good idea, flee and leave them for the next poor sucker to deal with.
Miss_Attitude96 24
I don't understand how hard it is for people to flush the toilet. Seriously, I am a junior in high school and there are disgusting girls that leave their used pads and tampons in the toilets. It's gross.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (135)
StormyZero 11
Is seeing poop really a reason to cry and pee your pants?
SApprentice 34
You poor thing. I'm guessing that you have paruresis? It can be really difficult to work through. Maybe you can get your significant other or a very close, open minded friend to help wean you into it? When I was a kid I could only pee at home. Only. I'd go more than twenty hours without going, as much as thirty sometimes if I had to, because there was no way I was peeing anywhere else. Even at home, I was not able to hear anybody else, or even think that they were awake, or I would lock down. My bestfriend started dragging me into deserted public restrooms and would sit outside the stall quietly chatting to me and not letting me leave until I would go, even if it took an hour. She became this super supportive, kind hearted little terror, the bane of my urinating existence. The weird thing is that it actually worked. Now, I can usually use a public restroom, but I still know that freaking horror. I know it, and I feel bad for you, OP. Good luck.
btstig 11
There seems to be a freaking syndrome for everything now. Grow the eff up y'all. Carry wet wipes or Lysol wipes and get over the shit.
bach2121 13
Don't blame u for having that phobia in the first place
lexxiii 17
Where is OP? I've been in A LOT of public bathrooms in many different states in the US and never have I came across a bathroom where you had to open the toilet lid; they didn't even have a lid on them. Am I going crazy or does anyone else agree?
jamnglamgirlie 17
That's why I always flush before I lift the lid
SApprentice 34
That's a lot of wasted water.
283leis 8
The lid was closed for a reason. You NEVER use a toilet if the lid is down... And why the heck are females washrooms so dirty? It's even worse when you find piss on the seat. I will never understand how's a girl gets pee on the seat, and I am a girl
TheDrifter 24
It's the "hover" technique. A female friend of mine described that particular "germ avoidance" technique to me.
shiarrael 13
It's because they don't sit down. They hover over the seat, which leads to urine landing just about everywhere except where it should be. It's disgusting and really unnecessary, especially in places where the bathrooms are cleaned regularly.
hellobobismyname 24
People are disgusting. Working as a waitress I had to clean up after someone who took a shit and missed the bowl. It was right at the back end of the toilet... I can sympathize with OP. I walk around public washrooms looking at all the stalls before I choose one and I've seen period blood sprayed on walls, and other things. But next time you see a public toilet with the seat down, it's best to keep it closed and go somewhere else because obviously somebody was trying to hide their mess.
mansen 15
oh god, you just brought back horrible flashbacks to my waitressing days. The absolute worst thing I have ever encountered going in to clean a washroom was some fauvist wannabe decided to finger paint on the wall with their poo. I just..I just cannot comprehend what compels someone to do that.
buckdharma 38
This might have been an early Van Gogh. Could have also been a Paul Gauguin.
skyeyez9 25
The floaters were staring at you huh? O.O O.o o.O
BntyHntrSeattle 30
Pretty sure that's not it...
Obey_StudBoii 23
I hate public restrooms to. I walked into the restroom at the College I attend and there was piss everywhere. I turned around and left.