Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML
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Top comments
mthammer 4
Wow! I can understand the fire department but ambulance too??? What did you do?!?
Damn_Hippster 11
How could you forget the fire department and a ambulance? Those are key ingredients to French fries
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Comments (80)
nero9112 4
Smokey the bear teaches about forest fire prevention, Sparky the fire dog teaches about home fire prevention. I actually knew about Sparky long before Smokey, and I am not even American.
Pufferfish78 5
You just like men in uniform! Were they hot?
stevenmx86 8
How hard is that? We make home made fries all of the time..
bizarre_ftw 22
Then you should know why op needed the fire dept. and ambulance!
skye14 2
Ouch):
white16sox 19
I don't. What do I win?
Potterhead1 3
Goyle set the bloody place on fire!
LMeltdown 4
Please, don't ever get near boiling oil. I think that's a bit too much for you to try right now. Start off with Jell-O.
bizarre_ftw 22
*three weeks later* [...] and the authorities are still unsure how the south pacific has managed to morph completely into grape jell-o, environmentalists are still working out a solution. Over to you Tom :)
MagicallyFat 12
Well then I'm sorry and I'm wrong. Sparky it is. I never had sparky the dog speak at my school :/
AhmandahAnarchy 5
unfortunately for me, my ex tried to bake potatoe chips and burnt his house down literally. i tell people i was with him for his crotch rocket anf camaro, not his intellegence.
bizarre_ftw 22
And yet you misspell potato when the correct spelling actually IN the FML... Ever wonder if he says the same or similar about you?
Spoonz 4
That's not how yahoo answers says how to do it
astonmartin007 4
What are they French fries of doom