Today, I decided to make homemade french fries. I figured all I needed was potatoes and salt, right? Wrong! I also needed the fire department and an ambulance. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was home alone and tried to make some popcorn so I could watch a movie. Thirty minutes later, my parents came home and found me talking to the firemen. FML
Today, I went over to this girl's house that I really like. I was planning on cooking her dinner. In the process, the grease in the pan got too hot and caught fire. We ended up having to call the fire department. FML
Today, my boyfriend wanted to make breakfast. Since I usually do all the cooking, I said that was fine. Four hours later, my boyfriend and I were sitting on the sidewalk across the street as the firemen sprayed down the burnt remains of our kitchen. FML
Today, I managed to set off the smoke detectors while cooking burgers. The cops and fire department showed up. FML
Today, to impress my date with dinner, I spent hours prepping and cooking. Just as I was about to serve her, I realized I'd left the stove on and my kitchen was on fire. As the fire trucks arrived and my date looked on in horror, I couldn't help but think, "My cooking is so hot it literally set the house on fire." FML
Today, I had to call 911. Why? My fireplace caught on fire. FML
Today, I attempted meal prepping to “get my life together.” Within an hour I'd burned rice, melted a plastic spatula, and discovered I’d seasoned chicken with powdered sugar instead of salt. My smoke alarm and my stomach filed complaints. FML
Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML
Today, I over-boiled some potatoes. I was having a bad day and this tipped me over the edge. I burst into tears and threw the potatoes all over my kitchen. I then stomped on the piping hot potatoes. The bottoms of my feet are blistered and still feel like they’re burning. FML
Today, I decided it was the perfect day to make Penne alla Vodka. It was also the perfect day to set my kitchen on fire. FML
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Top comments
mthammer 4
Wow! I can understand the fire department but ambulance too??? What did you do?!?
Damn_Hippster 11
How could you forget the fire department and a ambulance? Those are key ingredients to French fries
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Comments (80)
Insane_Tea 15
Smokey the Bear says only you can prevent forest fires.
bizarre_ftw 22
But French fires are a different matter entirely
Sunny_Eclipse 6
No, only Josh can. (10 points if you get the reference.)
Potterhead1 3
i get the reference
brdude 9
Coming from someone who's also a big disaster cooking, you have my Deepest sympathy and comprehension, OP.
rallets 23
its Smokey >:(
TheRealHouse 7
few tips. let the fries sit in a strainer for a bit before cooking them especially if you rinse them, water makes the oil boil over. Keep the oil less than 3/4 to the top of the pan so it has room if it does boil over keep it under 450.. 300 to 350 is enough Add them gradually. if you have a basket, lower it slowly.... or get an actual deep frier. If you can't do this right PLEASE DONT TRY TO DEEP FRY A TURKEY! Deep fried Turkey is awesome but people are giving it a bad reputation..
Tridemon 0
yummy deep fat fried turkey is delicious and so juicie
bizarre_ftw 22
Yeah, no. You fail at spelling, speaking, and thinking
Tridemon 0
haha sucks for you everyone knows your not suppose to add water to oil it causes fire haha and I bet you burnt your self from the oil popping everywhere nice classic
itak365 4
He also tried to sow the soil in OP's garden with salt so no one could ever raise enough crops there to build a city that could compete with the might of Ro- Mr. Potato Head.
Llama_Face89 34
Forgot the oil didn't ya?
Patty22 0
Aint the first time lol, but nice pic, its true
ohmandapants 17
Sorry! Replied to the wrong post
deviable 9
How nice of you, inviting hard working paramedics and firemen over for supper.
metallicshadow 16
damn what the hell went wrong?
bizarre_ftw 22
Absolutely nothing! Haven't you ever made French fries before? Sheesh! What rock have you been living under?
MagicallyFat 12
Canadians :/ smh… it's smokey bear.