Today, I decided to have a hot cup of coffee. Then I stumbled on a chair and somehow spilled the hot liquid on my privates. The searing pain worked better to wake me up than the coffee itself. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I set my cup of coffee down on the stall floor to take care of my business. A hand reached under the stall door and took my coffee. I yelled to give it back, calling them obscene names. Moments later, my fresh coffee came flying over the door. I'm burned from my head to my legs. FML
Today, I was drinking coffee out of my favorite mug, when it slipped out of my hand. I caught it, but not before most of the hot coffee spilled all over my lap. In reaction, I dropped the mug again, shattering it. FML
Today, while relaxing in the kitchen drinking coffee, my dad suddenly rushed in, knocking me over and causing me to spill boiling hot coffee all over myself. Then, my dad thought it would be a good idea to grab the sprayer from the sink and douse me with cold water in order to "put me out." FML
Today, I was running late for work so I grabbed my coffee to go. I was rushing down the stairs when I stumbled a bit and spilled the entire cup of coffee all over myself. I had to go back up, change clothes, and was still late. The kicker? It was decaf. FML
Today, I was making some tea for my colleagues when I accidentally dropped the tea bag into my cup of coffee. I thought, "Why not?" and took a sip. It tasted like a caffeinated botanical disaster, and the whole office got to enjoy me retch for 10 minutes. FML
Today, I spilt a very hot cup of tea all over a burn I got yesterday from spilling a very hot cup of tea. FML
Today, I fell down the stairs while holding a cup of hot coffee. Now I have burns all over me and a twisted ankle. FML
Today, I heroically caught a falling cup of coffee that I'd knocked off the counter. I thought I'd saved the day, until I realized I didn’t actually grab the cup; I'd grabbed the hot coffee directly with my bare hand. I spent the next few seconds hopping around like a maniac while everyone in the office watched. FML
Today, I thought it would be funny to put a few extra spoonfuls of sugar in my co-worker's coffee. He thought it would be funny to throw the boiling hot coffee over my crotch. FML
Today, I walked into work looking like I had peed myself, all because my husband thought it would be "hilarious" to slam on the brakes while I was drinking hot coffee. FML
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Top comments
RememberSchlitz 9
♪♫ The best part of waking up, is Folger's on your junk♪♫
ThuNDeY 23
"How do you like your coffee sir?" OP: "I don't care. I'm just going to spill it anyway"
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Comments (28)
Vintage_Cola 29
It's basically a common rule now that every FML about any liquid involves someone spilling it all over something else. XD
iamdman 22
I once had a burning sensation in my nethers from shifting gears while I had my coffee between my legs. Third degree burns on the junk will definitely kill your sex life. I feel for you OP. Walk softly and carry a big ice pack...not for real, don't use ice on burns.
rockeditionbarbi 14
At least it did the job! Just not in the way you expected it. The world works in mysterious ways my friend.
ssnow_fml 20
Now you have discovered the secret.
TMO2142 25
Its still coffee itself causing the pain :3
PeterB444 17
Glad you found a new morning routine OP, caffeine can be dangerous.
ryguy042702 5
Therefore, you should sue McDonald's.
Fairyjoshy 13
It could be worse - it could have been McD's coffee superheated far beyond regulation temperatures resulting in massive burns that fused your junk shut and resulted in agonizing pain that you would experience for the rest of your life while the world mocks you for being a stupid greedy moneydigger when all you want is for your medical bills to be paid.
ForbesPotato 5
But the coffee is the liquid so, the coffee did wake you up as much as the liquid because they are the same thing.
koink_fml 12
"Privates"