Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
Maddoctor 10
And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...
Serix 0
Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (156)
MsTs1 0
smack that mother ****** in the face and teach him some respect, a little prick like that shouldnt be talking to youlike that, just imagine the even more worse thing he tells to teachers, cops, etc, smack that mother ****** till he gets his face deformed
fmlette_fml 0
oouch. that was friggen rude. why would your wife high-five him? that's teaching him to disrespect everyone!
turdburgers 0
You need to teach that little shit to respect you. The wife you can just divorce.
chipmunk95 0
your son would love you more if you cooked pizza with your phone
llamasoks 0
That comment is funnier than the FML. Seriously your kid was probably joking, if not, stop cooking. Simples!
doubleAbattery 0
Tell him to make his own dinner from now on. Honestly, if I ever said something like that to my dad I'd never get to eat dinner again. Due to the fact that my mouth would be wired shut. Kids these days. They got no respect.
null_fml 11
I was thinking the same thing. He doesn't respect your cooking, he can damn well make it himself.
princeofpeace 0
I'm sorry man but that's awesome lol At least your wife didn't beat your kid for swearing.
aJ09 0
people really need to start raising there kids better..
aJ09 0
like hes 12 and hes swearing? and isnt the virgin rate at 13 now? so sad that the world is raising such ***** and assholes
thelonelylurker 0
Good job raising the little bastard. And learn to cook, damn it.
chowyuk 0
really a long day of preperation and cooking ydi for trying to make cooking sound so hard.