Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Let him cook
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Tasty treat
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Shit tastes better when you're in love
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Cook out
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Just eat it
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
Top comments
Maddoctor 10
And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...
Serix 0
Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI
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Comments (156)
Maddoctor 10
And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...
sb825 0
its so true. dude that is what happens when u live in the city in the East Coast. it turns your kids (and everyone else) in to little ******* pricks that think they are too good for everyone and that their time is more valuable than everyone elses. and if you have ever lived on the west coast or the midwest, then you know that is true. i live in SD, 7th largest city in the country, 3rd largest on the west coast, and the people here dont even compare to the people in NYC or Phili or DC. you guys need to get that stick up out of ur ass and calm the **** down....
Maddoctor 10
Hmm, well then I guess I'm glad I live in California. But you have to admit, some people over here aren't exactly the nicest either.
SnowByte 0
SO TRUE! I moved down outside of Philly 9 years ago from a small town up in Maine. People down here are absolutely miserable! Everybody seems pissed off and it seems like they are the only ones who matter. I hate living near Philly... and they say it's supposed to be the city of brotherly love. Pah!
mylifestoryy 6
Thats not true. I am from NYC and I never act like that! I dont even swear! btw Im 19 :D so maybe its just the people you seen I know plenty of nice people from here :D
mcnerd85 0
FYL. There are assholes in every city in the world, you included. The seventh largest city in the USA is Philadelphia, nothing in SD even makes it on the top 50 list, check your facts. and SD is not part of the west coast, it's not on any 'coast.' it is the midwest. Jesus, good job looking like a hick tool.
sillymissme 0
Gee, thanks for stereotyping. I live in a city on the east coast and people are pretty nice. I've been to places like San Francisco and not everyone is so great. It's not like New Yorkers are awful either. Sure, there are some unfriendly areas in the city but I visit relatives there, and anyone I've ever met was pretty nice. Maybe you have some bad luck with people, or you're just rude so they're rude back. Stereotypes are disrespectful. Grow up.
jgardner12 0
47, I am pretty sure the person meant SD as in San Diego. Which last time I checked was on the West Coast. :D
hahaohwell 0
i thought it was funny. If his cooking sucks he shouldn't have to pretend to like it
corystein 0
The east coast has nothing to do without. Parents suck all over the country. They barely care about their kids anymore, leave them on their own half the time. Is it any surprise that they turn out to be rude? And the wife..... This guy probably has it rough, I feel for ya.. man
elchapin562 0
mcnerd85, you are dumb. SD is obviously San Diego, which is of course on the Pacific coast. but man i actually look forward to getting out of Cali, the people here are more materialistic than most other places in the US aside from the Northeast like New York. All the girls here want a dude to have money before they get asked out damn. but the stereotypes are a little true, where you live does affect your personality.
gurlgurlgurl 0
justr because people living in NY are rich and live the high life doesnt mean theyre snobby. seriously dont judge. im from the upper east side of NY and i hate people always thinking that we're spoiled or stupid or something JUST BECAUSE we're rich.
KASHMIR_fml 0
ya OP. totally YDI for letting you kid talk like that. In front of you. Ofocurse theres freedom of speech but theres gotta be sometype of respect. tell his bitch ass to chow down cuz there are hungry people that would kill for that food so stop being a picky bastard
TommyGentz 0
#58 so, wait, you said that sarcastically, cuz i think thata lot of people are nice but if you hit DEEP south except Florida people are plain ignorant And im from NY and were not ALL dicks
Sunbolt 0
congradulations sixteen people were able to read something into the story and then have a flame war about it.
MindlessRobot 0
It's not where you ******* live but the people who live there.
slimshady67 0
**** off 22 thts bullshit not everyone is like that so go suck a big hairy one
jabfinch 9
eat a dick, I've lived there and the south and west. people are all the same you just news to learn some respect.
TheKingDon 2
Your son is very creative, I will give him that!
fckinbowdown 0
cooking isn't everyones thing man don't feel bad. you have a wife she's supposed to be the cook of the family so tell her to get to it
ZuRG_fml 7
If they don't like what you cook, never cook again.
natsaysheyyy 16
So unappreciative!
Hairpastafreckle 0
Relax, they were just joking around. It's a family thing.
LifeFucksUsAll 0
Agreed. It's like people have to take everything so damn serious now. :/
curryndricegirll 0
yeah don't take it so hard. besides, it was your first time cooking, mistakes are to be expected. don't worry, you'll learn.
Jam33 0
thts messed up and i don't thts joking around.
dan81892 2
yeah, i know, you don't just flat-out say that as a joke
Serix 0
Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI
ndawgg 6
1. Where does it say that he lets his son swear? Kids swear even if they're told not to. 2. It's not that you let kids swear, but what they do with those swears that matters.
fudrick 0
Have you ever stopped to think how ******* stupid "bad words" are? Think about it. They're words that you can't say, but you can say other words that mean the exact same thing. You're saying you'd be mad at the kid because he said "shit," but you wouldn't if he replaced it with "poop" or something?
LifeFucksUsAll 0
Yeah, I think about that alot. It really is stupid. I mean, it's a word, just like any other. Means the same thing, just different letters, and yet it's all 'GASP'.
nomadxx7 0
Yet George Carlin made a career out of the seven words you can't say on radio or TV. So according to the FCC and other government agencies you shouldn't say such words. Just have your little kiddies say those 7 words in front of grandma/grandpa and count the seconds until they're washing their mouths with soap. May not think it's too harmful but most people I assume would rather not have their children saying the more "vulgar" versions of the words.
hahaohwell 0
i understand racist words being bad but there isnt anything wrong with saying shit, damn, ****, etc.
Rawrimabunny 0
Actually even if he didn't say any "bad words" it's still disrespectful and still deserves a smack to the face. And how crappy does this guy's parenting stills have to be to have the kid think that its okay to talk like that. A total YDI for the FML guy for not having the balls to take control of his kid.
Antivirus_fml 0
For now just wait, One day your kid will become an adult, then ask him make dinner, & then say the same to him :D
sublime93 0
That's pretty funny lol Still, you should beat the little bastard
OMGitsKaleyxo 0
your son. is my heeerrrooo. :]
sukidesu_fml 0
Dude, that kid of yours shouldnt be swearing so young o_o