Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
Maddoctor 10
And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...
Serix 0
Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI
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Comments (156)
oh_mi_shizzle 0
lmao! wow... ummm... that's probably a hint for "u suck at cooking don't so it again" lol. sorry that they put u down like that OP, it want nice, but they're ur family so just chill... they were joking around and trying to have fun with the fact u can't cook. but how ok is ur kid? I'd never curse like that to my parents not even playing no matter what age. just avoi cooking if u don't wanna be made fun of okay OP? beyte luck next time. :)
geesquared 0
Hahahaha. I would never eat anything my dad cooked, but I wouldn't say shit in front of his face.
timtam24 0
haha your nickname... they were just joking so don't worry about it
Noamfer 0
Throw away the food and poo in their dishes. Tell them it tastes better
Slackness 10
It would save time on the prep-work by recycling and could even be considered to be environmentally friendly. *lol, then i clicked the 'spill the beans!' button (thats wrong on so many levels).
danielrp34 7
Seriously dude, I would go crazy big time....I'd take a shit on his plate.
beeship321 5
XD well ur family is funny at least they have a sense of humor! If they really don't like ur cooking let them make their own and u eat ur shit all by yourself
DrAwesome 6
So which hand did you hit them with?
DrAwesome 6
So, which hand did you hit them with?
ashleeee 0
lmfaooooooooooooooooooo FYL !! x2 one for your wife two for that mean son of yours !!
letyoudie 0
You should kill your wife