Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
Maddoctor 10
And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...
Serix 0
Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI
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Comments (156)
foryoublue94 0
YDI for trying to do something nice. You should've smacked them both and told her to make you a sandwich.
SortaBlack 0
well thats teh womans job anyway nice try i cant cook either
mo_the_owl 0
Thats very thoughtful of you, but it sounds as though this is the only time you've done this. You're wife probably has to cook every day and I doubt she gets much praise. Practive makes Perfect.
InfinatePlaylist 0
wow. i seriously wish i would dare talk to my parents like that ever. and it has ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with where you live. I live in NY i have cousins that live on the west coast and the way that they talk to their parents is unbelievable. they treat their parents like their slaves. its the OP's fault for allowing his kid to talk to him like that. cause i would of torn your ass up. its just the way ppl raise their kids. oh and btw most ppl in Cali are FAKE AS HELL! they sleep with each others bf's and gf's, they are way more stuck up and their voices just make you want to put your foot up their ass. and maybe cause in NY the average person spends 2hrs in traffic were so pissy all the time, but that doesnt mean we are the most disrespectful ppl
gemini02 0
Hope you smacked your kid into a ******* coma
whathajel 0
you all need to stop stereotyping. it doesn't matter where anyone lives. i agree that where you live does affect your personality, but not EVERYONE at a certain AREA act the same way. RUDE. especially you #108. it sounds like you had a bad experience in cali and i'm sorry about that. but you shouldn't just assume everyone else is that way. i know a lot of people in cali who are real, and a lot of people who are fake, but i think its safe to assume that's how it is in the rest of the world. the world is full of fake & real people. but that's life, right?
kissesinbetween 0
Hahaha but ouch.
Sargo_fml 0
Guys, I think the son was joking. The mother must have known this, because I don't think she would have laughed or high fived him if he wasn't. Don't get so worked up about it. BTW, Your son is pretty awesome.
Molltini 0
HAHAHAHAHA. *Hi-Five*!
Toas7 0
The wife probably TOLD the kid to say it.