Today, I decided to cook dinner for my wife and kid. After a long day of preperation and cooking I asked them what they thought of it. My 12 year old son then says, "I would say it tastes like shit but not even shit tastes this bad!" My wife then laughed and gave him a high-five. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, due to my wife saying I never cook and that we always order pizza, I spent a good hour preparing dinner. While serving it to my kids, they started complaining. My wife told them to shut up. When she took a bite, she looked up at me, smiled, and said, "Do you, you know, want to just order pizza?" FML
Today, my kids told me that for the FIRST time, my cooking was delicious. I made Kraft dinner that night. FML
Today, my mom tried a new recipe for dinner. She proudly served what she called "gourmet vegetable stew." One bite later, I had to fight every urge to not gag. She asked me how it tasted, and with a straight face, I said, "Delicious!" She then asked for my honest opinion, so I told her it was, um, "an acquired taste." She hasn’t spoken to me since. FML
Today, I had to be the asshole who finally told one of our friends that his wife can't cook. This was after she tried to make fajitas using a third-rate premade sauce and processed ham, burned it, and stank up the entire house. He seemed shocked when we all agreed; he thought it was good. We all facepalmed. FML
Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. Being a chef of a highly-rated restaurant, I cooked a well-liked dish. Not only did she say no, but commented on how bland and tasteless the meal was. FML
Today, I was at a barbecue. I picked up a piece of cake and began complaining to the man next to me about how horrible it tasted. "This tastes like shit!" I said. His wife baked it. FML
Today, I wore myself out cooking, preparing tasty little dishes for my sweetheart. I heard him arrive and shout as he came up the stairs, "Stinks of shit in here! Have you been cooking?" I threw everything in the trash. We'll eat sandwiches. FML
Today, after years of providing daily various home-made colourful meals for three kids and a husband, I was asked to "cook something cool, like instant hamburgers, not that lame healthy shit". FML
Today, as I was pressed for time, I opened some canned food for dinner. When my children were served, they said, "Mmm, this is best meal you've ever cooked for us!" I cook healthy, balanced meals every day. FML
Today, I spent all day carefully preparing a wonderful homemade beef and vegetable stew from scratch. Close to dinner time, I tasted it and it was inedibly salty. Confused, my horrifically bratty stepdaughter then laughed and admitted she poured salt in it because it wasn’t what she wanted for dinner. FML
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Top comments
Maddoctor 10
And to think he'll probably talk to his wife like that someday, sigh...
Serix 0
Soooo you let your son cus, and you expect him not to talk to you like that? YDI
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Comments (156)
Qup 0
your wife is a disrespectful bitch. encouraging your son, of any age, to swear like that, to his father no less. I bet she won't congratulate him when he starts to swear at her. if I were you, I'd keep cooking. you obviously have an interest and, with practice, you'll get good eventually.
samoht05 0
That's hilarious! I would love to have a kid that funny and a wife that cool!
bongoboy 0
rofl! but still you totally shouldn't let you kid cuss like that.
ORIGlNAL 0
What kind of 12-year old says that? honestly..
ItecKid 0
What kind of parent are you that you tolerate that language from your kid? If I had talked to my parents like that, I would have been beat into oblivion.
mrose57 0
Your disrespectful, foul-mouthed son needs his ass kicked. Save the other foot for your wife.
agifttotearapart 0
Jeez. Most women would be happy that you at least tried. Sounds like your family is used to talking to each other like that, though. So, your fault for letting your children talk like that.
Skellig 2
Um, ok. That sounds pretty much exactly how people talk in my house - in other words, it sounds like a joke amongst people who love and respect eachother. =/ Admittedly if they actually meant it then they are being ungrateful.. But for all these people complaining about language, grow up. Swearing is NOT a big deal. Letting your kid curse just means failing to censor them, which can't be a bad thing. You can have a respectful kid who swears - the fact that this kid said shit is hardly worth mentioning.
12mp04 0
Beat him
agifttotearapart 0
Yeah, it totally depends on whether the OP is complaining about the kid is cursing or showing ungratefulness. 'Cos in my family we also kinda talk like that, but it's really all playing around.
DameGreyWulf 1
You know my brother bitches about dad cooking a lot too. Because the only thing he can make is spaghetti lmfao However, spaghetti is awesome, so **** my brother.