Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I lost my keys. My roommate locked me out, then yelled at me when I made her come home to let me in. I tore my room apart searching for them, and even went out to search my locker room. When I got home, I glanced at my wall only to find my keys hanging on the hook I set up specifically for them. FML
Today, I woke up and went down to the park for a walk. I later realized I'd forgotten to bring the house keys with me, so I got stuck waiting until somebody opened the door for me. FML
Today, my roommate asked me to lock the door as we left our place. I told her to use my keys, because my hands were full. Afterwards, she and her boyfriend set off out of town for the next couple of days. She forgot to give me back my keys. FML
Today, my roommate has gone home for the weekend. She forgot to turn her alarm clock off. Her door is locked. FML
Today, I was sleeping in after working a graveyard shift. I awoke to my girlfriend sneaking her stuff out of the house. She planned on leaving her key on my pillow and taking off without any notice whatsoever. FML
Today, returning home from a party, I realised I'd forgotten my keys. My roommate was sleeping so soundly that after an hour of throwing gravel and ringing the doorbell, I had to give up and get a room at the hotel over the road. For €85 I had a view of my room. FML
Today, I woke up in the middle of the night and had to go to the bathroom in my dorm. After coming out of the bathroom, I realized I'd let my auto-locking door close behind me. I had to go through the whole dorm, sprint across campus in my bra and underwear, and ask someone for my spare key. FML
Today, my roommate who stays out til 4 or 5 in the morning each night got her key to the dorm fixed. I've been having to stay up nightly to let her in (my normal bedtime being 12:00) How'd they fix it? Turns out it was never broken she was just putting the key in the slot wrong. FML
Today, I woke up extremely hungover. I couldn't find my car keys so I went out to my car to see if I had locked them inside. I walked back to the door of my apartment barefoot and empty handed, only to find that I had locked myself out of the apartment. FML
Today, I didn't have my key, so my sister told me to call her to let me in. I called, no answer. I waited for 15 minutes and then called my dad complaining about her, still being outside. She popped her out the window and yelled, "Don't talk about me, bitch!" and wouldn't open the door. FML
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Top comments
DocBastard 40
So...you got a nap in, got back inside, and lost nothing. Other than your keys and dignity, that is.
SShelbyy 1
What a b*tch!
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Comments (37)
DocBastard 40
So...you got a nap in, got back inside, and lost nothing. Other than your keys and dignity, that is.
MrJentipede 2
did OP even check if the roommate was already in when she got back? doubtful
Trollz4daLULZ 2
I'd say you should take a huge dump on her pillow, but girls don't poop.
fakeaccountX 6
Piss on her pillow instead.
DrAwesome 6
Shit on Debra's desk.
wife_beater 0
like a boss, buy a gun like a boss
DrAwesome 6
In my mouth (like a boss). I say, I shan't be able to complete this task, sir. Posh!
ckjacques53198 0
maybe she just didn't wake up
Cinn_fml 23
Well, I can understand you being annoyed, but I can also understand her not wanting to wake you up. Did you text her to let her know you were locked out? I mean, it's probably a little unusual for you to be asleep against your wall, but maybe she figured you had a reason. Also, it teaches you not to forget your keys, a lesson I found that teaches you better if you actually do it.
autumnnn14 0
I don't see whats wrong, you got some sleep, and now alls you have to do is get up and knock.
anonyn_fml 0
wow, thats redic. sorry you have to live with a lunatic
snipetay205 0
i expected a little mustash :P
LaUruguaya 11
I'm always fascinated by these FMLs where people end up falling asleep in random places. it takes me FOREVER to fall asleep, no matter how tired I am.
Ashwen 2
The op lives in Illinois; falling asleep outside can cause hypothermia which is deadly. If the op did not wake up, that roommate could have came out to a dead body. so there is no excuse for the roommate to leave the op outside.