Today, my boyfriend informed me via text message that he had moved to Bristol, and the reason he had ignored me the past fortnight was because he didn't know how to tell me. He knew he was moving even before we even got together. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML
Today, my boyfriend of 3 months broke up with me because he is moving. He's only moving 20 minutes away. FML
Today, I went to my boyfriend's apartment to break up with him since he's always busy, and I haven't seen or spoke to him in almost 2 months. I arrived to find out from his landlord that he'd moved out 3 weeks ago, leaving a note saying that we were over. FML
Time for a change
Today, I found out that my boyfriend has been cheating on me our entire relationship, texting and messaging on social media asking to have relations with multiple women. I just moved to a new city with him, consolidated most of my big items, and we are supposed to move into our new apartment in 4 days. I don't know what to do. FML
Today, my boyfriend came home from a two week vacation and told me I needed to move out. FML
Today, my boyfriend informed me that he'd resolved all the issues with his ex and is getting back together with her. Normally I could tolerate this if it weren't for the fact that I just moved to a different country to live with him, and turned down a university and a scholarship. FML
Today, I moved three hours away from my boyfriend for college. Even though he got accepted to the same school and had a job lined up in town, he decided not to come with me because the Internet at our apartment wasn't going to be fast enough for his gaming. FML
Lemon law
Today, I moved several states to start a life with my boyfriend. It would've been nice to know he was cheating before buying a house. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over and dropped off my phone, which I'd left at his place the night before. He immediately left in a sulk. As I looked through my texts, I discovered he was only so moody because I hadn't answered any of his calls or messages. I'm dating an idiot. FML
Snoop
Today, I went through my boyfriend’s emails and found out that he cheated on me the day before he asked me to move in with him. FML
Top comments
Zebidee 9
In British English, people would almost always say fortnight instead of two weeks. We think it's odd that Americans find it cute.
dacho 7
Even before you even? Are you even from tumblr even?
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Comments (95)
EastonxStealth 0
I would hate that
Marvin_Android 0
Sounds miserable. Think about it though: what good would a discussion have done? He still would have moved, and you two still would not be together anymore. The situation would still have rendered all the effort you put into your now-failed relationship moot. It's just so pointless, isn't it? Much like everything else in life. Life. Don't talk to me about life.
randall_doak 4
Actually, the point was she wishes she would have known before the relationship started. So yes, you are right that they would still not be together, you are right that he still would have moved. But what you are failing to see, is he could have avoided the painful part by telling her in the first place, so there would be no break up...
BethiiGeex 0
I live in Doncaster! :o
rallets 23
a fortnight? seriously?
mamamiaaa_fml 12
ooo you poor wench yo doth weighhhted a fortnight like a boss.
ArrowLCMC 0
70 Thats what I was thinking. A fortnight? I didn't think anyone still used that. Did Shakespeare get dumped here?
shanks19 0
72 for the olde English win lol
geovanni 9
everybody says forghtnight in Britain/Ireland
sexyschmergel 0
I heard a good club opened down town. I'll see you there
Skroal_stomper 5
Are you open down town?
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
in case you didn't realise she means Bristol, uk. so I don't think she will see you there.
falluke17 0
18 ftw
gusgus36 5
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
1. he's an asshole 2. it really amuses me that you said "fortnight." how cute lol
macskapingvin 0
Does it also amuse you when people say 'weekend' and 'month'?
Zebidee 9
In British English, people would almost always say fortnight instead of two weeks. We think it's odd that Americans find it cute.
macskapingvin 0
But we also think most things about Americans are quite odd too.
Siren2 0
Well, the citizens of the USA are very easily amused by differences. I don't know about the rest of America though... Where I'm from we don't talk at all so...
WishResign 0
Is she wrong in finding something to smile about, in a good way, when learning of differences in cultures? Should she have said something rude instead about you people? There's enough hate going on b/c people can't get over cultural differences. You find a nice girl who does, and you lonely, sarcastic British have to find something wrong. Don't try to impress your own cultural bitterness on us.
Zebidee 9
Oh, in my case at least, that wasn't my intent. I didn't call her stupid or ignorant, just that that's the way it's normally said, and that we find people's surprise at it as strange as if they'd never heard the word 'Wednesday' used in a sentence. Sorry if it came across that way. I didn't see any malice in what #3 said, and none was intended in return.
macskapingvin 0
Likewise, my part was all in the same good humour. Sarcasm need not be taken as malicious; it is more likely to be playful. This is just one of those things where we find it unusual that Americans are so amused at the 'cuteness' of what to us is just a natural way of speaking.
WishResign 0
36, 39, everything's fine then :)... honestly, you have no idea how many times there have been people coming at us Americans in a bad way b/c of innocent statements. I'm glad that's not the case with you guys. It's good that you guys were patient enough to clear that up & separate yourselves from the others.
WishResign 0
oh, also we're not all innocent, so feel free to fire away at the assholes on our side ;) (plus, us Americans, with our 'obvious humor', need to try & understand the British sarcasm better haha)
ILOLatmockdaweek 0
I think you should just all shut up and listen America. without us British you wouldn't exist so you sort of owe us one. oh and don't ever take the mic out of British humour ever again cos it's a hell of a lot better than yours. an I divnt give a damn bout insulting youse.
randall_doak 4
#60, let me just say something about you and your little "America wouldn't be America without the british" theory: Granted the first people over here were spain technically, then the english, by the time America was declared independent, it was a few generations later. So the people that made America America, were in fact Americans. Try no to make yourself look so ignorant next time.
kocoman500 2
wooww #60, everything was going well until u had to run your fat mouth. I'm with the other guys. and 60, stop trying to be funny.
millionaire93 0
your cute...
Miss_Awesome_101 0
WTF!! where r u from?
perdix 31
Why Bristol? She wasn't even that good on "Dancing With the Stars."
djmigues 7
This is true.
KittehSayzRAWR 0
If only I knew where that was... :(
perdix 31
Oh, I thought she was in Alaska, or traveling with her mom, Sarah. My bad.
CloudEnvy 17
Doncaster is your chosen example of a UK city? Perhaps I'm just bitter because I got lost there.. In the dark.. all alone. Stupid Doncaster.
RedPillSucks 33
Sigh... Where's Bristol? I don't know, Alaska? If you can ask her, then you'll know where she is. What? *runs and hides, looks to perdix for help*
Naitras 15
31... Doncaster is where op is from
Tessa39 0
actually Bristol Bay is a place in Alaska as well... not the person... she is named after the bay
CloudEnvy 17
So they are 53.
Zebidee 9
Maybe he meant he's moved on to someone with better Bristols?
schwancy 2
Oh the deception!!
sweet_candy_ 17
That was an inconsiderate thing to do :(
Trollz4daLULZ 2
Forsooth! Not a fortnight?! He hath offendedeth thee with his deception!
macskapingvin 0
Offendeth would be present tense and hath is past tense so your grammar is all wrong.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
No shit, tardling! So what would the tense be for the word I actually used, "offendedeth"? Was the silliness not obvious enough for you?
macskapingvin 0
The silliness was perfectly obvious, I just chose to ignore it.
Perdition 4
Xavier made me chuckle.
Sparx1_1 16
@16 Past tense: He hath offended thee. Present tense: He offendeth thee. And "No shit tardling." is properly rendered "I am a troll trying to bait people and since my first attempt did not work, I am trying again."
RedPillSucks 33
Actually, a penguin ******* with a giraffe might be something I'd pay to see. *Next on 'Animal Planet', Animal **** gone wild*
rockyraccoon28 8
gone wild. hahaha.
Trollz4daLULZ 2
RPS: he'd better wine and dine me, first. And giraffes don't eat fish.
mcwildcat8230 0
HAHA I like your Old English Grammar burn, I really would have never caught that. Good work for being educated
dacho 7
Even before you even? Are you even from tumblr even?