Today, the only thing my downstairs neighbor wanted to talk about with me is how she can hear us go to the bathroom. She also claims that she can tell which one of us is going, based on the noise level. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I now know why my next-door neighbour can't look me in the eye without smirking. He can hear every grunt, groan, fart and strain that happens in my bathroom from his bathroom. FML
Today, sick of the unfiltered noise we hear from our neighbours in our upstairs apartment, as we're above their fence line, we signed the lease on an apartment downstairs. While I was downstairs, my partner clomped upstairs, opened the bathroom door, and took a piss. I heard EVERYTHING. FML
Today, I saw my upstairs neighbor outside getting the mail. She asked how my day was, and then apologized that the sound of her baby's crying through the walls kept me up last night. Apparently she heard me when I yelled at 2am for her fucking demon spawn to shut up. FML
Today, I was informed by my next door neighbor that they heard me singing in the shower last night. I laughed and she told me that the family gathers in their upstairs room closest to my bathroom window to guess which song I'm singing. Every night. FML
Today, after my old downstairs neighbor, who would come upstairs to bang on my door and yell at me every time she heard a sound from me at all times of the day, had finally moved out, it became clear that my new downstairs neighbor gets drunk and yells at the TV in the early hours of the morning. FML
Today, I had to stifle a fart so my upstairs neighbors wouldn't hear it. I know this because I frequently hear theirs. FML
Today, the walls in my house are so thin that I heard my roommate yell from the bathroom upstairs, "Hear my butthole roar." Now I’m scared to use the bathroom after him. FML
Today, I noticed that the walls of my apartment are ridiculously thin, when I heard my neighbor slowly walk up the stairs, slam the bathroom door, lift the toilet cover, take a pee and end with a nice "AAHH." FML
Today, I found out that I bought a house next door to crazy people. She asked me if I would mind not showering when her husband is at home, because he can hear me and knowing I’m naked on the other side of the wall turns him on, which is a nuisance for her. He’s unemployed. He’s always at home, the creep. FML
Today, I had to hear my neighbor whine again through the walls because he can't talk in a quiet voice. You can hear him from across the street, and that's before he gets drunk. FML
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Top comments
PennyLane27 32
Next time you're in there, howl in the toilet. That should throw her off ;)
Stonedmanalex 0
Thats strange, How would you react to that?
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Comments (53)
Stonedmanalex 0
Thats strange, How would you react to that?
EnEl_Infierno 15
By going to take a nuke and yell "Now that's a man's flush". (Hope someone gets the reference).
Bbhd05 0
I'd like to know how they started that conversation.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Start eating ghost-chili laced burritos OP. She'll WANT to stop listening.
dre_bro11 12
Piss her off? Drill a hole through the floor with a 9-Inch drill bit and piss on her when she walks under or looks through it to see what the ***** going on.
abbyelizabeth 9
28: I believe thats the most disturbing factor of the whole FML....
Kntrymama 8
#28 thats what I was wondering!!
allenye818 2
I can hear my neighbors pee & shower. Their apartment above mine is identical so the bathroom is in the same spot. I was kinda freaked out at first but now I'm used to it. I don't understand why you would tell someone about it though...
urdirtyolduncle 15
She must also have a "Shit Log" of you guys. That's some creepy/excellent stalking skills she has there... or maybe she's just trying to scare you guys so that you won't make much noises?
Nevitt 9
@28: Hey! i just happened to be in the area... and i know what your Sh*t sounds like...
201Blackhawk 0
The Toilet Whisperer.....
PennyLane27 32
Next time you're in there, howl in the toilet. That should throw her off ;)
Tristyxxx 24
Chewbacca roommate!
PennyLane27 32
Excuse me, maddam, you may want to plug your ears...I'm taking a wookie!
PennyLane27 32
...Also a good opportunity to practice bird mating calls!
bubblepaarty 5
dude, tht's talent . she can tell whose peeing ? :D
PocketRockette 0
she has superhuman hearing ablities, tell her turn hearing aids off....
enonymous 9
And how you need to eat more fiber.
hawaiianfire 0
Hahaha sucks to be you.
mrahhhhh 21
Maybe if you eat enough Taco Bell, you'll fart loud enough in the bathroom to gross her out and make her stop doing that. Don't get me wrong though, I love Taco Bell.
takeapieandrun 9
If someone's gonna be a creeper like that neighbor at least keep it to yourself
ikickgingers 15
What's the point of being a creeper if you aren't providing shock value? No fun.
captainfalcon7 0
hopefully you and your wife have never gotten it on in there..