Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, at a Con, I saw a girl in an impressive cosplay of a character from one of my favorite video games. I complimented her on her costume and got a picture with her. Later, my girlfriend called me a cheating creep and broke up with me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
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Top comments
Birdclawz 17
Careful what you wish for ;)
papygeorges 17
New game: Runaway A kanye west production " It's in the game!"
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Comments (75)
FitFriday 32
You should never joke about that anyways
ughvictoriaxd 12
Careful what you say cuz some people take it a little to seriously
baegirl33 7
Is the game League Of Legends??
kaylizs 20
'Best support NA marry me' 'Im a 40 y/o lesbian lets do it'
joshi42 16
Turns out she was saving your ass for her.
Justincolon22 15
Brought it upon yourself ha.
fonkimonki 7
She thought she'd scored you too
renegadekid2002 14
And that's why pepper spray was invented
fantasyworld 39
The internet is full of stalkers.