Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, at a Con, I saw a girl in an impressive cosplay of a character from one of my favorite video games. I complimented her on her costume and got a picture with her. Later, my girlfriend called me a cheating creep and broke up with me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
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Top comments
Birdclawz 17
Careful what you wish for ;)
papygeorges 17
New game: Runaway A kanye west production " It's in the game!"
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Comments (75)
swaglesshipster 23
Well... At least your game went well! :)
TheBelt 19
At least she was interested in you.
Birdclawz 17
Careful what you wish for ;)
MzZombicidal 36
One time, this 30-something year old woman joked about dating me when I was 16. She knew my age and the fact that I was straight, and so I joked along and was all "yeah, totally. Just lemme go gay for you real quick. lol." Apparently she took me completely serious and actually thought we were dating and took offence when I talked about a guy I had a crush on just a day later. She ended up sending me a ton of messages and leaving me voice messages (on Xbox) calling me a horrible person, a ****, etc. It was some crazy shit. My point with all of this: people are scary (on the internet!) D:
Markovski 18
Oh my... Some people just can't wait for a "chance".
whitnayfortooh 29
people are scary:(
papygeorges 17
New game: Runaway A kanye west production " It's in the game!"
marcusterry 14
Every day I'm more convinced every female gamer is a lesbian.
PickledSweets 22
That's really scary; I feel for you. Hopefully you can explain it was just a joke, and if that doesn't work, get a restraining order. Hope it all works out for you!
MegasaurusRex89 28
Sounds like it's about time to change your phone number.
ironmany_fml 23
well.. marry me! lol :D
ZombieSazza 34
Thankfully phones have a block option these days, so you can simply block someone's number, I just do that instead of changing my number. :)
Pingvinai 37
Oh, internet. A mysterious land full of surprises.
nutella4life 14
your profile picture is adorable
Pingvinai 37
I had it taken at my graduation.
s0728 17
Why would you jokingly ask a random person online to marry you? Even if they helped you in the game, you have no idea who they are or if they'll take it seriously.
Welshite 40
I had a random person on the internet ask to marry me as an obvious joke. We are now best friends. It happens.
mukduk 21
Because a lot of people are able to understand what a joke is and not take a friendly compliment as a serious marriage proposal.
Willyroach1 7
You obviously don't play games or anything online that much because plenty of people make jokes like will you Marry me or have My kids, etc. I play League of Legends and the community is pretty insane, pretty much anything will come out of them they don't really care, btw (Gold 4 Adc main NA)
interesting33 37
I think people joke about it all the time. If you have just met someone you should be able to assume they will understand it is a joke. But you are right, some people might not see it that way. But I don't see this as being OP's fault at all :)
Roxas_hearts 27
Someone's a buzzkill 10