Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went out to meet a wonderful woman I'd chatted with online. I did have a few fears about if she was really just some guy trying to make a fool out of me. When I met her, she really was a girl, and was happy to see me. Problem: she was actually 13. I'm 34. FML
Today, I got a text from an old hook up. I assumed it was a mistake, since we hadn’t spoken in years. She replied that her fiancé just dumped her after finding our old chat log. The last message was 10 years ago, and apparently she has become a prude since then, so now I’m a homewrecker. FML
Today, I received a message on a dating app. It was the girl I'd always wanted to marry, but who disappeared from my life when we were younger. She went on and on about how much she missed me... and how much she wanted me to meet her husband and 3 kids. FML
Today, I have such crippling low self-esteem that when a girl from my class asked me out, I was instantly convinced she couldn’t actually be interested in me and must be setting me up for some sort of nasty prank, so I told her I wasn’t going to fall for it and to fuck off. She started crying. FML
Today, I was messaged by a great guy I went to college with, and he was telling me how stupid he had been for not asking me out in college and about how much he had liked me. After talking for 30 minutes about trying to get together soon, he told me that he had mistaken me for someone else. FML
Today, I found out that the girl I've been dating online for over three months is actually a very bored 14-year-old boy. FML
Today, I tried to pick up a girl by asking her what the time was as a conversation starter. She responded by telling me it was time to pick a girl more in my league. FML
Today, a cute guy I recognized from one of my classes messaged me on a dating site. He wanted help with homework. FML
Today, I went on a date with someone I've been talking to online for weeks. Unfortunately, it turns out they'd used old photos and misrepresented themselves, and I didn't find them attractive at all. Even I'm not that desperate. We ended up having an awkward dinner and I couldn't wait for it to be over. FML
Today, I met an old friend from high school and his hot girlfriend. I jokingly said she must be blind to go out with him. His response: "Yeah, she is." FML
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Top comments
Ghostrui 31
Nah, the only one desperate is the chick who's stuck in the mindset of a 16 year as a 40 year middle aged woman. Remind her she's also on the dating website and she messaged you first. Anything she says in return, don't respond back. Let it hang.
chris_lillo 15
This is an FML for her. Imagine being 40 and still acting like that. Something is wrong with her life. Good luck on dodging a bullet
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Comments (20)
Ghostrui 31
Nah, the only one desperate is the chick who's stuck in the mindset of a 16 year as a 40 year middle aged woman. Remind her she's also on the dating website and she messaged you first. Anything she says in return, don't respond back. Let it hang.
doomsdayaddams 6
This. What a childish person she must be.
doomsdayaddams 6
This. What a childish person she must be.
chris_lillo 15
This is an FML for her. Imagine being 40 and still acting like that. Something is wrong with her life. Good luck on dodging a bullet
zuckerburg 21
You are in your 40's and you use "online dating" as a verb. So... yea... what. She's testing you. To see if you're still a whimpy nerd boy. More than likely liked you/likes you. If not, then wow did she not grow up. Best to bang once and move on.
bibobobonnor 8
Are you trying to imply that it's sad he uses online dating as a verb? It's just another form of dating, I don't see the shame. Also, this woman is in her forties, why the childish tests, not everyone is a master of silly subtleties.
BurnInDemonFire 39
Imagine being that much of a failure in your 40s. She'll definitely become a spinster.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
Some people don't mature with age sadly.
Mungolikecandy 19
Email back asking why she never graduated from High School and is still there if she is the "hottest girl in class".
pscool 11
Don’t worry just remind her that as you both keep getting older your looks keep improving and her external beauty continues to fade and we know she obviously isn’t a nice and beautiful person on the inside!
RichardPencil 32
Keep trying! You’ll get her eventually.
thatslifeiguess7 16
Her glory years were in Highschool. She's probably been dumped alot. Move on HOWEVER next school reunion hire an escort that looks amazing and have her spend the whole the whole night talking about your big wang
Glowworm56 27
"Yeah, you're right, you are still hot--only this time it comes in flashes!"
real life problems 26
The hottest girl in class is on the same dating app he is because she's also clearly single