Today, I complimented a player in a game who protected my ass the whole match. As a joke, I told them to marry me. Turned out the person was a horny 40-something lesbian stalker who spent the next 5 hours sending me pictures and trying to find out where I live. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I played Connect Four with a gay guy who was clearly hitting on me for an hour. When he asked why I didn’t want to go to his place, I told him that I’m straight and married. He asked why I played with him for so long, so I told him, “My wife sucks at Connect Four.” He called me a cocktease and left. FML
Today, I was online dating and a girl from high school messaged me. Thinking she might have matured since we're now in our 40's, I messaged back. She then said it was a joke and that I'm still a desperate, pathetic nerd trying to score with the hottest girl in class. FML
Today, and for the past two weeks, I decided to try online gaming, as it's something I've never done before. I already have a creep stalking me because I mentioned I was single and he's a horny virgin. Remind me never to talk about my lack of love life online again. FML
Today, a guy kept flirting with me despite all my hints for him to kindly fuck off and die, so I lied and said I'm a lesbian. This didn't stop him. It got so bad, I had to claim I was born with a dick and say that's why I like girls. Only then did he say "Eeewww..." and back off. FML
Today, my friend told me she had a stalker who had been emailing her. I laughed, and told her it was probably some fat, ugly virgin sat behind his computer all day. I then continued to describe and mock the stalker, only to realise that I was basically describing myself. FML
Today, at work I got a message from some dude trying to flirt with me. While I was cracking up and making fun of him with my friends, I get a message from him saying look directly behind you, and there he was staring at me. FML
Today, someone flirted with me. They kept touching me, insisting we should go out sometime, and hounding me for my number. At a family-only memorial service. FML
Today, I found out that my seemingly innocent 80-something neighbor has been stalking every girl in the neighborhood, and considers me his girlfriend. FML
Today, at a Con, I saw a girl in an impressive cosplay of a character from one of my favorite video games. I complimented her on her costume and got a picture with her. Later, my girlfriend called me a cheating creep and broke up with me. FML
Today, for the first time in my life, a girl hit on me. Specifically, a lesbian who thought I was a girl. FML
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Top comments
Birdclawz 17
Careful what you wish for ;)
papygeorges 17
New game: Runaway A kanye west production " It's in the game!"
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Comments (75)
Willyroach1 7
Lol what game
nutella4life 14
Welp, there is always the option of a restraining order (in case they find u)
itsme82 18
Maybe you shouldn't joke about such serious things. Serves you right for messing with someone like that.
DoomedGemini 38
"Messing with someone"? They don't even know each other! It is an OBVIOUS Joke. The person who took it seriously needs help.
Hunterx700 17
They've only known each other since the game started, anybody with any amount of common sense would have been able to distinguish that a stranger asking for their hand in marriage isn't serious
wakemeupplease 21
Tottaly worth it lol
funsizedliz 16
Better than Twilight?
91hayek 31
This should have been in twilight. But instead of Marry Me it should be Kill Yourself. Movie over in 5 minutes, news at the top of the hour.
writerchic85 26
People in games are nutty. I play wow and when I first started and was trying to learn the ropes I asked a random player for help. He helped me, but once he found out I was female he wouldn't leave me alone.
BigC_from_Bama 16
Your female? I'm never leaving you alone again!
RedPillSucks 33
the most attractive **** appeal, ermmm.... cockatoo I've ever seen
piinksock 17
Why on earth would you ever announce your gender? Even in vent, unless you're leading a progression raid you don't need to talk. I played for almost 10 years without disclosing my gender.
MzZombicidal 36
Well, to be fair, you can't always hide your gender when you're physically speaking to them, #38. They could have been in a chat and had/wanted to give their opinion on something. They could have even been leading the raid! I play on Xbox Live so I can't really hide my gender but it's not always the end of the world when it happens...
91hayek 31
Strings attached help is the worst. Especially when you want to be nice, but they're just 'nice guys'.
piinksock 17
46 talking on xbox live. ha.
ZombieSazza 34
#38, easier said than done. Some people just manage to figure out your gender sometimes and it goes from there, so please stop acting like is somehow OP's fault for being female and a gamer finding out.
writerchic85 26
My character was female so it wasn't that hard to figure out. He also introduced himself so I did the same and he figured it out by my name. His whole persona changed the second he learned I was female. It's weird because for all he knew I was really unattractive yet the simple fact that I'm opposite sex was enough for him
monkey_business9 14
Well, that's scary.
NickEd 11
At least you'll have a fallback option if you can't find any other relationship options
gogo44444 28
Oh dear
munchly 17
Marry me OP!!