Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I threw out all the food in the freezer that my mom had been keeping since 2013. When she found out, she said, "frozen food doesn't go bad." FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML
Today, my mom decided to clean out my freezer. She freaked out over a box of unbelievably expensive King crab legs that expired over five years ago. My PTSD kicked in and I explained that I got them for a special occasion three days before my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer. I never got that special occasion. I hate me. FML
Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML
Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, my neighbour asked me to empty and unplug their fridge while they were on a vacation. I took what I could use and threw away the rest. It looks like I also unknowingly threw away a bottle of spices that were handpicked by her uncle and handmade with love, which her son loves eating too. I feel like a jerk. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML
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Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
If it moves, kill it. If it's not moving it's fine to eat.
Freeze_fml 17
Should have allowed nature's way of showing her she's wrong.
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Comments (106)
CaitiieBuggs 23
Same thing with my Grandmama. I once found condoms when I was 16 that had expired before I was born.
phatdaddy62 23
That's why you were born!
Senior29 8
make her eat it all ;)
ikickgingers 15
Contents of my fridge: 30 rack. Problem solved.
perdix 31
What? No bacon? Then, I'm not staying overnight. How am I supposed to make you a crispy bacon sammich in the morning? Watching me fearlessly making bacon in the nude will bring you to an as-yet-unknown level of arousal.
ikickgingers 15
Ohmyeffiggod. I just laughed so hard I snorted. Bacon grease on a naked body might hurt yes??
perdix 31
Of course, it hurts. It hurts like hell when it hits your dick. Watching me laugh in the face of danger to make you a sammich will turn you on to a level that's at least two notches higher than the most enthusiastic cunnilinguist could achieve.
aniseh_fml_fml 6
She's a hoarder. I bet the rest of her house looks pretty scary too. Let her know there are psychiatrists who can help her with her problem.
t765234 10
She probably refuses to admit that she has a problem, so telling her that would probably just piss her off.
Jasonf6 0
She a hoarder?
ILoveTabz 0
Sounds like my mom
iTz_Yuo 0
Let her prove herself wrong XD
kibella 2
I have a mother that is the same. A couple months ago I cleaned her freezer and found fish that expired in 1991.
cptpillpopper 0
I think I saw your mom on hoarders.
HooahGal 6
She must be a hoarder.