Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I threw out all the food in the freezer that my mom had been keeping since 2013. When she found out, she said, "frozen food doesn't go bad." FML
Today, after I cleaned out the fridge of things that expired months ago, my roommate got angry and insisted upon pulling all the moldy dairy products out of the garbage and putting them back because "they weren't mine and I shouldn't throw out other people's food." FML
Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML
Today, my mom decided to clean out my freezer. She freaked out over a box of unbelievably expensive King crab legs that expired over five years ago. My PTSD kicked in and I explained that I got them for a special occasion three days before my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer. I never got that special occasion. I hate me. FML
Today, while tidying up my grandmother's fridge, I got to play expiration-date-bingo. The winner was some type of concentrated apple sauce supposed to be used for salad dressings. It expired in 1986. FML
Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, my neighbour asked me to empty and unplug their fridge while they were on a vacation. I took what I could use and threw away the rest. It looks like I also unknowingly threw away a bottle of spices that were handpicked by her uncle and handmade with love, which her son loves eating too. I feel like a jerk. FML
Today, surprisingly, my roommate made a nice meal. Within an hour, I started throwing up. When I confronted her, she confessed that she'd used long expired ingredients, including meat, because she didn't want the garbage men to think she's "the type that wastes food." FML
Today, I opened up a can of tomato soup I'd taken from my parents' house recently. After eating the whole can, I started feeling a little off, so I checked the expiration date. It expired 12 years ago. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
StoryOfTheYear 15
If it moves, kill it. If it's not moving it's fine to eat.
Freeze_fml 17
Should have allowed nature's way of showing her she's wrong.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (106)
StoryOfTheYear 15
If it moves, kill it. If it's not moving it's fine to eat.
DrIDGAF 7
This is a great motto to live by. It works in all situations!
enonymous 9
4 - I can't wait till your gf asks for you to eat her out. Awkward
liquidfireKAN 0
I always thought that you threw something out if it was 1 day after the expiration date.. o.o
ThreeSheetsGone 12
How do you kill meat loaf?
ImOlivia 5
How to kill meatloaf: Eat it. O.O Good luck.
dre_bro11 12
34 it depends. Use by dates are to e thrown out by the end of the day of expiry, but best before simply means, it's best to consume me before re date I have here, but this doesn't mean you keep it for years either. It's sort of common sense and the use of our senses to determine whether it is good or not.
krazy_glu3 0
Sounds like a lot of people I've seen on Hoarders....
shuzzey 1
47 Actually technically using your senses doesn't work to determine whether something is safe to eat as the bacteria that produces the foul smell and/or mould is a different bacteria to the one that makes you ill, such as mouldy cheese being perfectly safe to eat
dre_bro11 12
68, but if someone sees that there's stuff floating in their milk, or the yoghurt's beginning to change colour or even if the packet of chips in the cupboard are stale hard as a rock, they are sure to figure out they shouldn't eat it, an in most cases won't just because it is showing those signs.
allenye818 2
I once found a bottle of salad dressing in my moms pantry that had been expired for 10 years
FMLsOhilarious 6
#87 that's the most disgusting thing I've ever heard about expired food...wth was she still doing with it?
_streets_ 19
Well I hope you didn't find rotten milk. I think that would be the worst.
rattusrattus 19
Eugh. I was once made to drink that as a kid because no-one believed me. I now have a role as the family off milk detector.
boofgall 16
Margarine lasts forever. Gross.
RetardedBullFrog 4
14, or you could check the expiry date, just saying . . .
Peachy2392 26
No...there are things much worse than milk that can expire and stink up your fridge; eggs, chicken, etc.
Feklfekl2222 32
Well expiration dates are never right after all
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Oh of course not. They're made up.
smexehXredhead0 0
Well #3, would you eat a tub of butter that expired in 2009? If you want to believe that expiration dates are fake and get food poisoning, you go ahead and be my guest. You really should take some caution, especially with milk, butter, eggs, etc.
Randuhh_17 4
The hell it ain't.... Sometimes, foods expire before the actual date. Always smell foods, and milk, ESPECIALLY milk, a couple of days before the expiration date. Btw.... That cat, is awesome.. Js
Bob343434 10
Sometimes they are, sometimes they're not, like one time I ate oreos a year after their experation date.
miserypoison 13
It is fine to consume food 1-2 weeks after its expiration. But this seems like the case of her knowledge lacking in hygiene.
ally_85 1
yeah the dates don't necessarily correlate to the whether or not the food is spoiled...did u even check that first? maybe she froze the butter until now and then it wouldn't have been rotten...dumb kids....get a job
THE_A_TEEN 28
Dumb kids? foods way past expiration dates have bactaria that can possibly make you sick and/or kill you, douche. Plus don't bring the "KIDS GET A JOB" argument's. Most of us work (i work at taco bell), you act like some 40 year old kid hater.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Bataria is gross, but so is bacteria.
Freeze_fml 17
Should have allowed nature's way of showing her she's wrong.
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Yes, we should all let our mothers have a chance of dying.
sublimaze 6
Everyone has the same chance of dying, which -- the last time I checked -- was 100%
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Not Chuck Norris
Clubkicker_fml 0
What a great mum!
Glockinator 2
Well..... It was a whole tub of penicillin.
ShealaBoBayla 0
Its happened to me. She even reached inside the trash to get the year expired mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge.
Enslaved 38
My folks do that too. (:I think it's heartbreaking for them to witness how much money was wasted by letting their food spoil. When it do clean the fridge out for them, I take everything out to the main trash when they're not home. They never see what's thrown away. And....they don't even miss it.
killmefornothing 0
My mother has done that several times to me. I found a jar of peanut butter that expired in may of 2008 a few weeks ago.
wriptidez 0
does she hoard other things around the house? if so, theres help, but only when she is ready. however, the food thing is a safety issue ... so ooooo not good
lilwaynerockz_fml 12
Hoarding, buried alive.
s0m3guy2010 21
Mom knows best. Everyone needs a little mold in their diet.
BronyVasNormandy 12
That's right! Eat your greens everyone! I'm pretty sure it's good for you. Even if it is fuzzy. At least, I hope so. That bologna from earlier isn't agreeing with me. I'm pretty sure you get penicillin out of that. That's good for you, right?