Today, my mom decided to clean out my freezer. She freaked out over a box of unbelievably expensive King crab legs that expired over five years ago. My PTSD kicked in and I explained that I got them for a special occasion three days before my girlfriend was diagnosed with lung cancer. I never got that special occasion. I hate me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
Today, I threw out all the food in the freezer that my mom had been keeping since 2013. When she found out, she said, "frozen food doesn't go bad." FML
Today, my mom got angry that I moved stuff in the freezer, and banned me from even opening it in future. I’m in my 30s, I fought in Iraq and Afghanistan, and now I've lost freezer privileges. FML
Today, my girlfriend screamed at me for throwing away her food, calling me a sick, controlling psycho. When I pointed out that the seafood pasta I tossed was a week old and almost certainly rotten, she dug the box out of the trash and ate it to prove a point. Now she's got food poisoning and somehow it's my fault. FML
Today, I had expired soda and stale chips for my dinner. Why? Because my mother spent all our grocery money on organic food for her chihuahua. FML
Today, I got my mom (who is a diabetic) a set of sugar-free chocolates for Mother's Day. Everything was fine on that day, and my mom decided to share them since I bought a good sized box. I was perfectly fine, but my mom had explosive diarrhea for the rest of the day. I'll never buy THOSE again. FML
Today, my mom's obsession with cleanliness hit a new low when she bitched at me for having trash in my trash can. FML
Today, we were cleaning out my grandma’s freezer and found a perfectly preserved dead weasel, which she had put in there for some reason after the cat had killed it. My mom’s cat from when she was a child, that is. My mom is 64 now. FML
Today, I received three big boxes from my mother in law, containing expensive cookware. I was puzzled, because I know that she hates me. Turns out she mailed them to us by mistake. Not only did she not get us anything, but I now have to pay to ship the boxes to her neighbor. FML
Today, I bought $250 worth of groceries and was feeling rather good about myself because it's the first time I've been able to do so in months. When I returned home I found my fridge/freezer broken. Most of the food I bought was dairy or frozen. FML
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Top comments
Chazzster 32
It’s not your fault that GF developed cancer or that you couldn’t throw away the crab legs or that Mom was critical over the expired food… Sometimes life is truly a bitch and we just have to deal with the fallout. I am hoping that you were supportive of GF when she got such devastating news. Know that cancer is not a death sentence - caught early enough and it’s survivable. But if you did drop GF when you found out she was sick then you deserve a special corner in Hell. I am trusting that’s not the case… Toss the crab legs - It’s too late and too bitter a memory now. Expired sea food isn’t the best way to remember someone.
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Comments (1)
Chazzster 32
It’s not your fault that GF developed cancer or that you couldn’t throw away the crab legs or that Mom was critical over the expired food… Sometimes life is truly a bitch and we just have to deal with the fallout. I am hoping that you were supportive of GF when she got such devastating news. Know that cancer is not a death sentence - caught early enough and it’s survivable. But if you did drop GF when you found out she was sick then you deserve a special corner in Hell. I am trusting that’s not the case… Toss the crab legs - It’s too late and too bitter a memory now. Expired sea food isn’t the best way to remember someone.