Today, I saw my mom changing the expiry date on milk. She genuinely thought this would make the milk sour later. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Today, my mother decided to inform me that she doesn't believe canned food can have an expiry date and that the food is still okay to eat years after the 'supposed' expiry date. She's probably been cooking my dinner with expired food for over 17 years. FML
Today, I'm taking care of my 12-year-old daughter because my ex-wife thought she could cure our daughter's lactose intolerance by sneaking milk into her soy breakfast. The milk had expired. FML
Tasty
Today, I really wanted something to drink. I looked in the fridge, and found some of my grandma's soy milk. I took a swig, and instead of tasting soy, I tasted something rotten. Turns out my grandma knows I drink her soy milk, so she swapped it with expired chicken broth. FML
Plooped
Today, I was pouring milk into my coffee and, as it plooped into my mug, I noticed the expiration date on the jug passed two weeks ago. Nobody here drinks milk very often and I ran out of creamer, so I've been unknowingly drinking my coffee with curdled milk for the past three days. FML
Ewww, gross
Today, I discovered why the milk in my house has a funny, sweet taste. My family has been pouring the leftover milk from their cereal back into the carton. FML
Today, I learned that instead of discarding expired products at my work, we change the label to make them 'expire' later. FML
Today, I cleaned out the fridge for my mother. I didn't throw out a single thing that was less than a month past its expiration. Instead of thanks, she complained about everything that I threw away being still good, including a tub of butter that had been expired for two years. FML
Today, I found out my mom put breast milk in my cereal until I was 7 years old. FML
Rotten
Today, my roommate thought that "sour milk" would taste like sour candy. She left a jug of milk out for two days, then took a huge gulp, vomited everywhere, and dropped the jug. Now the kitchen stinks of rotten dairy. FML
This has gone too far
Today, while my mom was out, my family agreed upon the assumption that she has a "shopping problem." I argued against it for quite a while, until she pulled up minutes later with a what seemed like a life-time supply of canned condensed milk. FML
Top comments
Poopolicious 5
Change her birth date... She"ll age slower =}
boating_guy 33
Really? Wanting someone's mom dead is pretty harsh...
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Comments (181)
piercyn 5
Retard.
Trisha_aus 15
I imagine Alan from the Hangover saying it..
onlychildFTW 34
Don't be a ritard!
lolfood 24
Ritard?
golferman72 16
You look like a fag
ManInTheMachine 20
Ritard makes the person saying it sound like an idiot. The Hangover was a hilarious movie, though.
Poopolicious 5
Change her birth date... She"ll age slower =}
DracoSpirita 21
Or die faster and the world won't have to suffer from her stupidity much longer.
boating_guy 33
Really? Wanting someone's mom dead is pretty harsh...
Kajol123 5
She's a smart individual; she's trying to save money and preserve milk for her children :P no need to be so harsh, we all have our moments
keenflow 2
63- how do you think she is a smart individual by doing that. How is she saving money or preserving it by changing the date?? If she wants to save money she should buy less milk. It's amazing how stupid people are these days..
hecallsmedarlin 7
63- I'm not saying she is stupid, but her actions are...changing the date on the milk is not smart, & will not save her money, but probably make her have to spend more by taking all the people she has poisoned in her household to the emergency room. Yeah, thinking that saving money trick just back fired.
biggestfan23 11
#86 I agree with you, #63 made no sense with that comment
Gtroll 4
#14, Someone's on the rag.
emilyjgraham 34
read the comments in the first thread, it is actually a non stupid idea as milk doesn't go off on that date. it's at its best until that date, then it starts going bad but still okay to drink :)
mango260 9
If the mother is trying to save money on milk just add water to it, to stretch it :D that's what my mum would when I was little.
zoPwNAgEzo 21
I really want to know what her thought process was to come up with that
boofgall 16
"Maybe I won't have to buy more milk if they think this stuff is still good"?
Trisha_aus 15
Maybe op's mom should give the expired milk to the sunburnt bloke in the previous Fml, It can be used for a milk bath
redfishbluefish2 13
OP, just make sure you remember the actual date...
Katy326 10
Her mom drank too much chunky milk as a kid.
KeyboardWarrior 10
Wow, I though stuff like this only happened in movies.
KeyboardWarrior 10
*Thought...
hecallsmedarlin 7
Well, there you go thinkin when you're not equip for it...;p
SenselessPattern 12
equipped* He is allowed to think.
Shadomasta 5
I've never tried this one. Do you think it works?
Hiimhaileypotter 53
No.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Yes it works. You should try it sometimes, our evil overlord says so.
Il_Maestro 6
It only works if you use a Sharpie. That shit tells the milk you mean business.
Shadomasta 5
Thick or thin tip Sharpie? Am I only allowed to use black or can I rainbow out? I must have all the details! Overlord, I request your guidance!
KeyboardWarrior 10
You actually have to write it on the milk, not the carton. How you do that is for you to discover, young grasshopper.
Axipiter 24
And it has to be in perfect Comic Sans, you can't use standard Arial Black or Times New Roman. That shit's for beginners.
zachherbert 10
It must be in italics, bold print. Write it with your left foot toes, while making monkey noises. It's all in the book "How to Make Milk Last" by Overlord
hecallsmedarlin 7
You know, I think you may want to try boiling it. Boiling things kill all bacteria..and I'm guessing will soften up those chunks back to its original creamy freshness. Your welcome :)
ArielTheMermaid 17
30 your bio and picture is epic! Harry Potter and MLP is awesome! :)
Meettitan 14
53- Freeze it and cut the bottle off revealing an oddly contoured "milk-cube", then go at it with a sharpy.
TheVelocirabbit 10
Then you have to put your left foot down, don't forget it!
KeyboardWarrior 10
And bring it around town, bring it arooouuuunnd town. Then you do this, and this, and this and this and this and that and then... You have milk, and a perfectly blown bubble.
zachherbert 10
152- Slow down, I'm only on chapter 7. You seem to be ahead of me in the book. Don't SPOIL the ending.
rooney0710 5
That's like changing the time on a watch to go back I'm time. We don't like in a sci-fi movie
KiddNYC1O 22
Will you type that again?
xcarxcrashx 9
Makes his photo that much more ironic.
Faqtha 0
Ugh that's wrong on so many levels
thisisafunnyname 12
like level 1 and level 2. also level 3
christiantalford 1
Smelly chunky milk, yay.
youjustmademelol 4
I hate stupid people
koolkat27 13
I read your profile and I have to ask: does this mean you hate yourself?
hecallsmedarlin 7
77- took the words right out of my mouth! ..looks like you beat me to it.
youjustmademelol 4
I wrote that drunk... Lol I'll change it
reddudeover 2
Nice moooove. Honestly, I doubt she thought this just really cheap.
Trisha_aus 15
Oh no! They've got you too huh reddude, you've become one of those headless/shirtless zombies!
perdix 31
What udder bullshit! That's so cheesy -- let's hope you're not pasture prime.
reddudeover 2
Zombies don't type. What about being shirtless can't the FML community get the **** over.
MedKits 9
Why are you shirtless anyways? Trying to show off to females who you will never meet because this isn't a dating site?
Dracoboxer357 36
35- Well, I believe for the most part, a lot of people feel that the only reason you'd pose without a shirt, is to visually brag about your body, basically saying, "Oh, look at me, look at me!" Now, I'm not saying you are, ;) , just why you got that reaction. And I don't blame you if so, as maybe like myself, you used to be really over weight and you finally managed to achieve a personal achievement of getting into shape or something such as that. And if that is the case, then well done, you look great! If not, then I'm just reading too much into your pic based on my own personal experiences....which admittedly, isn't too uncommon for me to do. ;D
reddudeover 2
55 - Am I trying to court anyone? NO. Am I constantly hitting on people asking for numbers or trying to give them mine? NO. Am I posting relevant (sometimes funny) comments related to the FML? YES other than that my pic should have NOTHING to do with anything. Grow up. And as I said before this picture was posted as a response to someone saying I'm flabby as proof that I wasn't. I was going to take it down shortly after but since it pisses everyone off SO much I think I'll keep it up.
perdix 31
#55, you haven't been around here long. Of course, it's a dating site -- it's just that since the private message system was added, it's gone underground. There's a lot more going on here than meets the eye ;)
blissmarie 6
reddudeover, how would posting a picture of abs as your profile picture prove you're not flabby? For all we know, you could've just googled "abs" and saved that photo from the Internet.
reddudeover 2
68 - Maybe I take a similar pic but in flipping you off, that would work right?
reddudeover 2
81 - No, because I'm right. Thumbing down someone because of their pic instead of what they actually say is always childish and wrong!
Myo_fml 20
Calm down, bro the user above you posed a valid point.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Thumbing someone up/down because of their picture is also a valid point.
hecallsmedarlin 7
Reddude, if it makes you feel any better I am not just thumbing you down for the lame picture that probably isn't you, (& if some how mirically it is... Well..still not to impressed since you cut off your face I am going to assume it is because you have a 'butter face' and no matter how good you can get your body to look, you can't do anything about a face only a momma could love....) but I am also thumbing you down for the lame comment(s)!
reddudeover 2
I'm a male, I can't have a "BUT HER FACE". The person that I sent this to personally has seen my face and they approve. So pardon me if the comments of the "butter face" girl that I'll never meet and who's never seen my face don't faze me. And somehow I'll be the douche here for defending myself... it's like magic really shitty magic.
ManInTheMachine 20
Redudeover: Sit back. Chill out. Look at this flamewar, and realize that it is completely pointless. Laugh about how stupid this is an change your profile picture...just so the threadjacking foolishness and constant explaining doesn't continue.
reddudeover 2
111 - Honestly I don't know what I've said here that's been so controversial and offensive.
SkoomaKi 28
reddudeover - When I read people's comments, I also look at their profile pictures. I don't thumb down/up based on a picture, but I particularly don't want to see a man's half naked body in front of my eyes. As you were saying about a girl calling you "flabby". If you took the effort to post a picture to show that girl and everyone else that you're not "flabby", it makes you seem a little insecure. Just change the picture so the FML community can continue its sanity.
reddudeover 2
I'm offended by the pictures of some, I don't then demand they remove it and I don't thumb them up or down based on it. Let's continue the insanity.
hecallsmedarlin 7
That you've never "meet"? Lol... That would be spelt as "met*" So, i say it to and you respond by calling me the same exact thing? You are so so clever hun. Bravo. Butter face, BAG it face, a face only a mother could love, it all references to the same thing. I was bored, reading these comments and seen you getting so defensive more and more, so I thought, "what the heck, why not throw my 2 cents in," I mean, people have done it to me, it's the internet. Oh well, entertaining at the moment. Though, I find it amusing that you in fact COULD be a girl. Or a transvestite.. Whatever floats your boat dude.. Uh, I mean madam? Anyway, doesn't faze you does it? Well, if it did or didn't it really doesn't make a difference to me, but the way you react, it kinda makes it seem as though it does "faze" you. Hm, my opinion though. You do realize, if you don't change your picture that people will keep getting on you about it? Just a thought. Especially since you cannot seem to handle the jokes, pokes, & prods.
Sirin_fml 47
Are you people all high?
reddudeover 2
You want to call me out on "meet"? You better explain "mirically" first. I'm not changing my picture, it's inconsequential, unless I'm actually FORCED to change it by people who aren't very mature. Honestly I hope this whole thing gets moderated -_-
Trisha_aus 15
Oh now I feel kind of bad for starting it, redudeover it's your picture, your choice. I promise to not comment on any other picture of a bloke without a shirt or a head.
Jaxx66 21
Yes Sirin, it seems everyone is. But it's amusing! Half-naked-dude-without-head, you got trolled hard buddy. So you lose.
hecallsmedarlin 7
127- Woah now, it was just a suggestion dude. Calm down. Thought you could use it since I have seen ppl joke an shit about your picture in more than just these comments. And, well.. You get super defensive. So just was trying to help you so it can save you the energy from getting all huffy and puffy. Why you mad? Haha..
reddudeover 2
138. And I never even said "that I've never meet" I said "that I'll never meet" I ain't mad... u mad bro? After all you yourself said we could be anything, I'm guessing tranny. 132. Thanks but the tide of stupidity rolls on. People aren't even reading my comments anymore. They're just systematically thumbing down my pic when they see it.
xcarxcrashx 9
Zombies do so type.
charvisioku 22
Reddudover(sp? cba looking back up the page to check): ah **** 'em. You can have any profile picture you want. If people are honestly offended by a torso, they have some issues that need addressing. And it amazes me that there's a full flame war over such a trivial thing. Everyone needs to calm down, stop being butthurt and have a brew or something. Good god.