Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
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Top comments
Danichaney 15
At least he's curious. I mean, who knows what you'll find when you look up unicorn dick-farts?
KitchKraft 21
That's a little screwed up. No, that's very screwed up. Deal with this now before it becomes a problem.
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Comments (147)
CandyApple88 13
Sounds like normal curiosity to me. Better that he is looking it up instead of insisting his view is the correct one. Also - you need to talk to your son about things, including the sex talk and how you actually do get AIDS and other STIs. He needs facts.
chipsotopher 12
I'm not sure about the kittens but the unicorn part is likely from an anime, don't remember what it was called but they said that a couple times as if it was just common knowledge
ajs1987 15
LMAO!! Your son is doing it right.
Artisan 6
Welcome to some of the depths of 4chan?
zman92 13
he might be ******* with you, and using that to distract you from what he really has been doing.
clemagh 7
you know what I agree.
Wooffer54 9
How old is he?
TBfml15 9
Blame #Merica
SerenaIncendia 11
Not even that bad ._. You should see my searches :3
cainchild 4
Him? NOthing? You, alot. You're a terrible, judgmental parent who is raising her son with nothing but close minded shame. You should also know that invading his privacy, and then using that to publicly shame him because you're small minded, will ultimately lead to you having a son who doesn't go to your funeral.
NostalgiaFreak9 43
I don't know what worse, that or people searching MLP ****.