Today, I checked my son's browser history, as he's been acting strangely around his computer recently. I found several bizarre Google searches, including but not limited to: "unicorn dick-farts", "sharting kittens", and "can you get AIDS from Asians?" What the fuck is wrong with him? FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was browsing the web when I checked the search history. Turns out my son has been searching for "nude grills" and "hot grills." Not only is my 12-year-old son attempting to find porn on the internet, he also can't spell. FML
Today, my dad awkwardly asked me how to selectively clear his browser history. Apparently, my mom discovered his browsing habits and tore him a new one for looking at "nothing but vile smut". FML
Today, while on my Dad's computer, I looked through the browser history to find the name of a website I'd visited on it the other day. I soon found out he watches a staggering amount of downright frightening incest porn. I'm disturbed on so many levels. FML
Today, while looking through my son's browser history, I found a Google search for "stop looking in my history u nosey cunt". I swore last week that I don't invade his privacy, so I can't even punish him for the bad language without looking like a lying bastard. FML
Today, I found my son's porn. I would sit him down for a talk, but the genres were so disturbing that I'm afraid to even ask about it. FML
Today, I had to teach my son to use private browsing because his porn keeps appearing in the search history. It worked, it’s no longer in the history, but he has added his favourite videos as tabs on the favourites bar. Either he’s a bigger idiot than I thought or he’s doing it on purpose. FML
Today, I borrowed my 23-year-old son's laptop. The sticky keyboard gave me a good idea of his browsing history. FML
Today, I looked through my daughter’s search history. Did I find porn? No, worse. At the age of 17, she has been looking up the definitions of commonly used words such as ‘arbitrary,’ ‘pretentious,’ and ‘initiative.’ FML
Today, I decided to go through my younger brother's browser history. I found out he goes regularly on PornHub. He's only 10. FML
Today, concerned about my daughter's recent behavior, I looked through her web browser history. I found web searches for information on how to make a bomb to blow up a "horse". I'm not sure if she's illiterate, but either way it seems I need to get her some help. FML
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Top comments
Danichaney 15
At least he's curious. I mean, who knows what you'll find when you look up unicorn dick-farts?
KitchKraft 21
That's a little screwed up. No, that's very screwed up. Deal with this now before it becomes a problem.
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Comments (147)
PhoenixGirl2015 4
its hilarious...and its a kid. kid n kinky don't go together. wtf is wrong w u people. don't talk to him about it. he'd laugh at u. everyone knows not just Asians give aids. he'll learn that in school. just laugh n remember being a kid
Eloxia 7
I have a feeling your son is a very young teenager. He probably will grow out of it. Hopefully.
afallingstar 22
The Internet is a strange place. It's a modern way of satisfying weird curiosities people have. I have teenage sons and the things they talk about...it's just a phase. At least you didn't find searches on how to make bombs or murder.
PrincessZelda_HR 22
The only thing I can think of is that it sounds like he's looking for images to make YouTube thumbnails
Catdragon 40
kid sounds funny. it's just internet culture. look up filthy Frank on YouTube for something worse than that.
baxwar 15
According to the Internet your son is actually extremely average in the community
Nightmare_Prince 4
The Asian one made me laugh.?
mthurston 14
I lol'd at unicorn dick-farts
RockstarJAy 16
He could be one of my friends. This is how one of my skype calls usually goes: with one of us searching ridiculous stuff.
RockstarJAy 16
At least he doesn't have his history stained with Rule 34.