Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML
Today, I went to pick my daughter up from school, only to find that a contractor had parked his car across my driveway. After squeezing my car out, I went to drive out of my street, only to find it had been blocked off. I drove in the other direction to find that a bulldozer was blocking the other end. FML
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
Today, I saw a sketchy looking person frustratingly trying to open a BMW in the parking lot where I work. I ran outside to confront him and call the cops. Turns out, not only was he the owner of that vehicle, but he was one of our company’s biggest donors. FML
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
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Top comments
NGM_47 0
WOW!! you're stupid...even if it wasn't yours, you shouldn't have done that, you're just rude!! YDI x 100!!
xlol_fml 0
What an overreaction o_O
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Comments (383)
nobo44 0
wow. you would actually take out anger on someone elses car? i drive a POS that i'm afraid that would blow up at anymoment(or fallapart). you deserve to have that car taken away and given to someone that deserves it.
lyz12312 0
ASSHOLE. you deserve it for throwing a tantrum like a 3 year old. grow up.
stinkybutt 0
WHO THE **** WOULD KEY A CAR IN THEIR OWN DRIVEWAY? you are so full of shit. ydi.
JustCallMeCloud 0
lol, you got a good point there. If it was in your driveway, it could have been a family member visiting or friends visiting. YDI for acting like a little kid over a day which wasn't so crappy. Besides its not really a FML since you got a new BMW. I drive a car that is about the same age as me so stop your b*tching.
caticaticati 3
It wasn't IN the driveway, he said it was on the street partially blocking his driveway.
pumface 0
this is fake: 1. He comes home to find a BMW in blocking his driveway = if hes graduating and 17/18 then why would he be getting a second car (given he's driving home which i assume is true, or why would a car blocking the driveway annoy a pedestrian?) 2. He just happened to 'key' it because its in the driveway - unless he is retarded he could assume it was a family friend or relative since its so close to this house. 3. The guy is such a retard he doesnt deserve a BMW
happyvalleygirl 0
idiot... he probably was driving a shitty hand-me-down or used car. Or he could have been driving his parents' car. You don't think much, do you? Also... who the **** keys someone else's car, man?
PakiPakiPaki 0
LMFAO AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA You weren't only mad that the guy parked in front of your driveway, you were jealous of the BMW and it's YOURS ahahahahahahaha YOU KEYED IT LMFAO! I hope that you learned to stop being jealous of what others have cause it just might be yours? LMAO This is epic. Im so happy this happened to you. YDI
claiiire_fml 17
Nowhere in the FML did OP say he was jealous.
JessRab 0
Serves you right for having anger issues like that over something so small. Perhaps you should seek some anger management classes.
harmony88 0
I think you commented on the wrong FML, dear.
drano 0
I'd say a person would have to be pretty angry to key a car. Though there is another recent FML with the frustrations, I think you concluded too hastily... dear.
FML_FYL_YDI 0
I agree with #13! The car was in your driveway, dude! Didn't the thought "It's probably someone I know" cross your mind?! You're an idiot. YDI.
caticaticati 3
It wasn't IN the driveway, he said it was on the street partially blocking his driveway.
sophie1070 0
does it make any bloody difference??? point is, he's an asshole!!!
vvvalori 0
stop repeating the same point. Even if it WAS just partially blocking the driveway, wouldn't his parents maybe do that to get the bitch's attention? He's still a giant ass for keying a random car because he was frustrated with his craptastic day. OP, you're a bitch. Get over yourself.
Crunchy_fml 0
You're an asshole and your parents still give you a BMW. You must have been spoiled growing up to think you can key someone else's car just because you got annoyed of a minor inconvenience. You don't deserve that car, brat.
kitties_fml 12
why the **** would you do that?
ugliy 0
LMAO!!!! i am so happy this happened to you haha epic win, asshole!!
mijzelffan 0
lol, then your anger turned into happiness! right?