Today, I came home to find a BMW partially blocking my driveway. I was already having a bad day, and was upset that some stuck up fool blocked my driveway, so I keyed the driver's side. 5 minutes later my parents show up. The BMW was a graduation gift for me. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I came home to find a car parked in my assigned space. Pissed off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks for parking in my spot. I spat on your door handle." It turns out it was my girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML
Today, I went on a date with a girl that I really like. I picked her up from her house, and as I was pulling out of her driveway, I hit her dad's BMW, knocking off the bumper. FML
Today, I came home to find my dad had backed into my already crappy car. The reason they didn't buy me a nicer car in the first place was they were afraid I'd wreck it. FML
Roadworks
Today, I went to pick my daughter up from school, only to find that a contractor had parked his car across my driveway. After squeezing my car out, I went to drive out of my street, only to find it had been blocked off. I drove in the other direction to find that a bulldozer was blocking the other end. FML
Not worth it
Today, and for all my life, my dad has been feral about protecting his BMW; we weren’t even allowed to look at it. Well today he decided I was allowed to drive it as an 18th birthday present. I was so nervous, I hyperventilated and passed out in the seat before I even put the key in the ignition. FML
Lies and love don't mix
Today, I borrowed my mom’s BMW to impress my new girlfriend. I'd told her that I owned an accounting firm, so I had to look the part. Today was also the day someone decided to rear-end us. That someone happened to be my boss at Burger King. Let’s just say, the cat’s out of the bag and I’m single now. FML
Assumptions
Today, I saw a sketchy looking person frustratingly trying to open a BMW in the parking lot where I work. I ran outside to confront him and call the cops. Turns out, not only was he the owner of that vehicle, but he was one of our company’s biggest donors. FML
The road to hell…
Today, I was trying to do a nice thing and let my friend's mom borrow my car. I went to move my mom's car that was parked behind me so that I could get my car out, and then proceeded to back into my dad's new company car. FML
Today, during a driving lesson, I accidentally rear-ended a BMW at a traffic light. The number plate was "Law Man." FML
Today, I woke up to find the entire driver's side of my car wrecked. Front door, back door, front and rear bumper smashed to shit. A drunk driver had hit it the previous night and ran. Don't worry though, he stopped and left his insurance information. He keyed it into the undamaged side of my car. FML
Top comments
NGM_47 0
WOW!! you're stupid...even if it wasn't yours, you shouldn't have done that, you're just rude!! YDI x 100!!
xlol_fml 0
What an overreaction o_O
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Comments (383)
Beven 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
lolol damn dude, that sucks....
Casualt1234 0
This is why we need Billy Mays alive to pitch Fix It! from the good folks at Simoniz which uses 3 easy steps to remove those nasty car scratches.
blink182rocks 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for knowing how poor you were and knowing that you could never get something of the value, you ******* bum.
girandwogpig 0
ok............
velcro62 0
hahahahahaa to OP: thats why its better not to take revenge
smoeguy159 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
go to http://www.sexyemilie.com/?id=1757244
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
R.i.P Billy Mays :(
FerrariF430 0
Damn what a little brat. My Ferrari got keyed in a parking lot the other day. That's a bigger problem than yours. And I worked for my cars including my first car. Consider yourself lucky. Brat.
kyle_kbo20 0
yesterday i keyed this Ferrari...the so diserved it.
tukker 0
hahaaha #131
americayay 0
Yes, it does suck that he's such a spoiled jackass.
easylazy 0
Don't you think the guy would know who keyed his car if it was right in front of your house (in the circumstance where it was not your car, which is what you thought happened)? Besides being spoiled, obnoxious, and a jackass, you're also pretty damn retarded
mylifeisfedddddd 0
u wish u had a ferrari
FerrariF430 0
No. I know I have a Ferrari. That I worked my ass off to get so STFU!
BlackScorpionAng 0
This sounds like the urban legend that goes...... This husband who drives a cement truck comes home for lunch on his birthday without telling his wife. When he gets there he sees a brand new red convertible in the drive way. He peeks in the window and sees his wife laughing and talking to a man inside. Filled with jealousy and convinced she's having and affair with the man, he backs up the cement truck and fills the red convertible with cement. The wife hears this and she and the man come running out. She screams at him, "What are you doing? I just bought this convertible from this salesmen for you for your birthday, I was going to surprise you when you got home!" hmmmmmm......
jud420 0
I have a ferrari too. It did not get keyed. I also worked extremely hard at getting it. I am rich.
barryman 0
please die. this is the worst story ever. how would a cement truck driver's wife ever afford much less want a ferrari?
Asdas_fml 0
Where does the story say its a Ferrari? I suggest going back to school if you can't read.
foozebox 0
LOL, since when did owning a Ferrari equal wealth? For all I know you could've had taken a loan and used your entire life savings for it.
fmlroxmysocks 0
ok....congratulations.
tdawgheath 0
You sir, are my hero. I bet rich boy there just inherited all his money from his dead parents and now thinks that counts as working for it.
englandaj 0
stop bragging that u have a Ferrari ok it's a cool car the world knows that but u don't need to rub it in everyones face. oh waa waa waa someone keyed your car. if you can afford that I think you can afford to have someone buff out a scratch or just do it yourself
lovergirl7 1
why don't you stop bragging about having a ******* ferrari!!!
PYLrulz 17
Wow. Congrats. You overpaid by a few hundred thousand dollars for a sports car. Congrats asshole! STFU
zachhile 0
they said red convertable not Ferrari
firstdbzmaker 15
39- hahahahaha I miss Billy Mays :(
Flinlock 0
173 - Couldn't have put it better myself. Really OP, you just got a free BMW (even if it is keyed) your life is far from ******. You are a spoiled brat and a blight on society. Key yourself in the face next time, eh?
B33FY 0
this is funny, cause your acting like a big shot with the picture of the Ferrari. you should check the source of the images you use. that picture was taken in Spain by a English photographer.
SittingInTheSky 6
#234- you are a motherfucking dickshit.
ImFrackinBored 13
Don't key shit...
tweetbaby14 18
Shut the hell up, you big phony.
eddystoner15 4
Id be pissed if some one keyed my 1965 gto. Who gives a hoot about your ferrari
czyk_it 5
Can you not read? #127 said Ferrari. Please, let me know when can pass a primary school English test.
Ilikepie82479 20
I believe there is a button for that sir
xlol_fml 0
What an overreaction o_O
Shadow1368 17
that's unfortunate.
uffiewuffie 0
YDI. But you don't deserve that car.
SoccerForTheWin 5
The OP needs to get a grip on life because in the end you would have to pay for the door you keyed so why a douche bag if it's someone elses car.You don't deserve the BMW
ajh557 22
Idk if some one was blocking me from getting out I my house I'd get my friends and role the car over. I always get idiot tourist in my town it's really annoying and idiots get their stuff wrecked by the people they bother
LunaaBluee 27
It makes me sad knowing there are so many people in the world that think this way... 446
kateisbored 0
That's no FML. You got a BMW dude!!!
mojomojo_fml 5
Exactly, what a spoiled little rich beeyotch. "Waaaah, Starbucks put too much caramel in my Mocachino, now this BMWs in my way. Waaahh! I'm gonna key it, 'cause my rich daddy owns the whole street! Oh, it's MY BMW? WAAAAH!!! I wanted a Bentley. FML"
sophie1070 0
LOL that was really hillarious.. and yes, you're right. stupid spoiled brat!
graciegirl 0
i don't think you should jump to calling him a spoiled brat-- he obviously didn't expect or ask for a bmw, and it's not his fault if his parents make a lot of money. you could call him someone very inconsiderate with anger issues, though. and i personally don't think it's right to drive around in cars like that. just imagine being some poor dad who lives in a rowhome who has to worry if he can put food on the table, and seeing some wasteful rich guy speeds by in his flashy bmw. that can't make you feel good. and besides, it's like a prep-mobile
Dagny 6
I disagree. There's nothing morally wrong about driving an expensive car if you earned the money you paid for it. It's not as if the car just falls into your lap; you have to produce a product or service of equivalent value. And if you've done that, you have every right to drive that car. Just because it might make someone else feel bad about themselves doesn't mean it's wrong for you to own it. If the guy you drive past chooses to be upset about it, that's his problem. He hasn't earned the car. You have. And it's not "wasteful" if it has value to you. It's simply not fair or feasible for everyone to restrict themselves, in the material sense, to the lowest common denominator. I can't have a nice car because a poor dad can't have one? I guess that poor dad can't have that rowhome, because it might upset a homeless person. People ought to be allowed to own the things they've paid for without being treated as if they are morally bankrupt. I do agree with your first comment, however. There wasn't enough evidence to call him a "spoiled brat." Inconsiderate with anger issues, yes.
EasilyUnamused 2
#247 FTW!!!
jessamyn_it_is 0
But he didn't earn the car himself, he got it as a present. He seems to be a spoiled brat - who would key a car of someone else? Only idiots do!
Sappheyes 0
There are also used BMWs. They have excellent safety systems, among other reasons for buying them aside from just trying to show off to people.
barryman 0
do you eat food every day? do you feel bad about it because kids all over the world don't? do you feel bad that people don't have the internet and you're using it to post stupid shit like this? you're a ******* moron...please die.
noName123456 0
While moderating FML's i saw one that said "Today was my 16th birthday and I asked for a black mercedes, this morning my dad told me to go outside and 'Get the paper' when I came back there was a green mercedes sitting in my driveway FML." now that guy is definetly a spoiled asshole, this kid on the other hand he may or may not be, depends.
Boat 0
So there should be no reward for working hard?
apfunction 0
209, even if his parents are loaded he's still a spoiled brat. many kids with rich parents still have to EARN the money for their car, because they aren't spoiled. this kid gets a free one as a gift because he IS spoiled. and he's a brat because he thinks he can go and key "someone else's" car because it's blocking his driveway.
iselinzilla 4
Spoiled brat? Yes you could call him that. I would call him a vandal. He destroyed the paint on a car because he felt entitled to. If you try to argue with that sentence, tell me where you live and I'll come over and destroy your belongings because I am entitled. If it was MY car and I saw someone keying it I would fill the scratches with blood from their face.
swiftyfox15 0
Thats an awesome idea #408!!!!!
Jjaro 7
It's not right to drive around in an expensive car? What?
Daesh_fml 9
I think the fact that their parents bought them a BMW showed that they're spoiled. I mean, I was pretty spoiled as a kid, and never had my parents buy me anything that cost even 1/10 of the cost of a used BMW, let alone a new one.
NGM_47 0
WOW!! you're stupid...even if it wasn't yours, you shouldn't have done that, you're just rude!! YDI x 100!!
nickob96 25
X 10000000000
bwinski 19
to be fair, his rudeness showed that he's "worthy" and the "right" person to be driving a BMW...
janefrom1979 0
you must have had a really bad day. :[ at least you got a new car. =D
doc_who 0
"How would you feel if someone did that to your car?" LOL didn't you read the FML? It happened to his car (granted he did it himself.....)
AndelleRae 9
I'm sure they read the FML. The fact of the matter is that when the OP was keying said car, he didn't know it was his. Ergo the question, "How would you feel if someone did that to your car?" Being a douchebag and keying your own car is different than doing it to a stranger. OP, You're a jackass. YDI
sarcasm_ftw 0
i'm pretty sure he knows how it feels to have someone do that to your car now
Amanyyyyyy 29
#60- He keyed the car. That's it. Still a new car, still his, and it still works exactly like a car that isn't keyed would.
Brain_Baby 0
I hope this teaches you to be less of an asshole in the future.
bgonebryce 7
agreed
raebeglan 7
I can only give you a thumbs up once or I would do it endlessly!:). who the heck thinks its okay to key a car regardless of who's it is?!?
viau 13
i tought the same. OP DI x1000
lurve_hate 0
I hope your parents fix the paint and keep it for themselves. YDI for taking your anger out on what you thought was a stranger's car.
harmony88 0
I wouldn't put it past the OP to say that it had already been keyed when he got home rather than taking responsibility for his own actions. This FML might be the only chance his parents have of finding out it was their son who keyed his new car rather than a stranger.
ilovefatcats 12
that's karma 4 u, bitch! MwAHAHAHA
steponme14 0
i agree with number 4!
MrFloooo 18
then +1 it and dont write a new comment
MeatPlunger67 4
then ignore that comment and don't create a new one ?
fml__love 0
Sorry but YDI.. at least you got a new car?
EmoEri 0
LMAO At least you got a BMW