Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Today, after a long day at work, I fell asleep in my living room. When I woke up, I saw a man leaving my bedroom wearing my pajamas, and I started screaming as he casually left. The cops came and apparently he's mentally ill. He truly believed it was his house. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I arrived home to find I'd been broken in to. The culprit? An obese homeless man, who I found face down, unconscious, and surrounded by muesli bar wrappers in my pantry. He broke in, ate everything in sight, soiled himself, and passed out. The worst part? The cops don't even believe me. FML
Today, I came home to find a man standing in my living room. Since my mom texted me that her new boyfriend would be coming over, I just assumed it was him. I introduced myself, made us some coffee and I went to my room to study. When I went downstairs after a while, the TV was missing. FML
Today, I went to visit a friend I hadn't seen in ages who lives alone out in the country. I arrived and found the front door unlocked but no one was home. I went in anyway and helped myself to some food. Then a family I had never seen before came in, and I realized it wasn't my friend's house. FML
Today, after quite a long work day, I got home to find my house had been broken into. Everything but my sleeping boyfriend was gone. FML
Today, I came home from a long day from work, only to find a strange woman in my apartment. She explained that my roommate told her it was OK to spend a few days here. I guess he forgot that the room was mine. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
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Top comments
eminemop 0
Hey, while he's there have him work for his stay- he can live there and you don't have to do laundry or dishes! It's a win-win situation!
ninjuh_wingman 29
You know your house is messy when a hobo believes that theres no way someone would live in it.
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Comments (61)
GoWithTheFro 10
That's shameful.
AcidLacedBong 5
A lot of cities have programs or grants to help people with homes that need repairs... Maybe look into that?
kertec 1
YDI for allowing your house's appearance to degrade to the point of seemingly abandoned. I am sure your local illegal immigrants would be willing to fix up your house and yard(s) for less than minimum wage.
THE_A_TEEN 28
Your comment was convincing, until it was degrated to shit during the second sentence.
desireev 18
I find it so funny that people think that it's easy to just fix up your house. Or that it doesn't cost money or anything. If it was easy and inexpensive to fix up your house, everyone would have a really nice house. Does that mean that OP deserves it because he is broke and doesn't have money? Or are you just trollin'?
Xcherrypie 16
Life's good when your home makes a hobo feel cosy.
lizard399 0
Your poor house..
MoogleSam 8
Well, if you haven't scared him off already you could be a nice guy and let him stay. You could buy him hygiene products and clean clothes and food and try to help him find a job and in return he could do the vacuuming and wash the dishes and put on the laundry and do the yard work for you. Once he has a job you could do the chores more equally until he is able to move out and live by himself.
lizard399 0
I hope you realize that life isn't a Disney movie.
Krulin 8
Yeah, right after an inspirational montage where they paint the fence and learn the power of teamwork. Are you freakin' kidding me? Yes, when a homeless person who is likely mentally ill or a drug addict breaks into your house, the only option is to adopt him. And he'll pay back your kindness by magically turning his life around and getting a job, because you know being homeless is a sign that someone makes good life choices.
laden_swallow09 35
26 - Yeah, right up until he steals your silverware and sells off your appliances for whiskey and/or heroin. Buy some common sense with your blind idealism and if you have any change left over, get a healthy dose of cynicism while you're at it.
Burrito_Time 5
Hobbos orgy!!
Gencade 0
No man..just no
lizard399 0
That's the dirtiest type of orgy there is..
laden_swallow09 35
And not the good kind of "dirty" either. BTW, I thumbed down your comment by accident, lizard. Sorry!
Raider4life15 2
Home makeover time?
Zoranius 6
I've read this before.. Seriously..
THE_A_TEEN 28
Homeless people breaking into someones home is common in many cities in the US. So yes, you're going to hear this a lot.
rubberduckie94 13
It is the cities new policy. Instead of sending letters out threatening to take control of the property if it is not cleaned causing people feel mad and rebellious. They now give homeless people work by paying them to break into these houses humiliating the owners into cleaning. Win win. Homeless get work, lazy bums are humiliated into cleaning their property.