Today, I came home from a two-week vacation. When I walked into my house, I found cat poop everywhere. It took me several hours to clean it all up, and the house still smells terrible. The worst part is that I've never owned a cat in my life. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML
Today, I woke to the smell of poop in my apartment. I went to investigate and found out a cat had pooped in my living room. I don’t have a cat. FML
Today, I came home from my vacation. My sister had been taking care of my dog and my apartment while I was away. As I walked in, I was greeted by a floor covered in poop and a destroyed couch. FML
Today, my husband and I cleaned our house. We swept, mopped, vacuumed, dusted, and scrubbed. We moved the furniture and got in the cracks. We were extremely thorough. At 9 p.m., our cat had diarrhea and he got it all over himself. He didn't know what to do, so he ran through the house, spraying poop everywhere. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom. On my way back, I found a small piece of trash in the hallway so I picked it up. It was cat poop. FML
Today, my husband was coming back after three weeks away for work. I was ready to surprise him when he walked in, but the cat took a foul shit in the litter box and the smell stressed me out so much that the first thing he heard was, "Clean the cat box!" FML
Today, I came home from holiday, only to find my house full of small decomposing animals, courtesy of my cat. FML
Today, I was pet sitting for a friend. As soon as I walked in the door, I stepped in dog poop. I took off my shoes to clean them, then stepped in cat pee in my socks. FML
Today, I was cleaning my room when I found a nice surprise from my cat. While I was on vacation, she killed a mouse. By the time I found it, there were maggots crawling in my carpet. FML
Today, my roommate finally cleaned her cat's very full litter box. I later found our only good spatula crusted with kitty feces, which she'd left on the kitchen counter for me to find. FML
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Top comments
LolPieRofl 11
Run, the ninja cats have arisen! Hide the women and children!
alice_in_mordor 21
A cat-burglar perhaps?
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Comments (56)
LolPieRofl 11
Run, the ninja cats have arisen! Hide the women and children!
ebdeadaccount 11
Hide yo kids, Hide yo wives, And hide yo husbands cuz dey rapin ERRYBODY out hea
ethaniel_fml 1
There is an only way how you can get the smell away - install (or rent for a few days) an ozone generator. Set it too maximum production and leave the house for a few days (it's not healthy to breathe ozone). When you return the house will be alpine fresh.
Docbee 11
Cats, ninjas of evil.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Maybe it was raccoons! Don't blame the lovely feline race until you know for sure...
mystashisgone 6
I just had flashbacks of when I was about 5. In the middle of the night I would hear scratches in the wall at night which, for a child of my age, was terrifying, I thought the boogeyman was out to get me. My parents didn't believe me until I finally was able to have then listen for themselves... Turned out to be a family of raccoons living in my wall. As it has been said "hide yo kids hide yo wife....".
JanisEvans 10
I've had both as pets. Cat poop and raccoon poop don't look alike.
KindaFunnyRight 8
I don't think having a raccoon as a pet is allowed in most places…
KindaFunnyRight 8
*isn't my apologies for the spelling error
alice_in_mordor 21
A cat-burglar perhaps?
Fmylab 8
Wow. Five posts in and there's nothing more to say. Hilarious, #5. LMAO.
LolPieRofl 11
They have a thumbs up button for that.
JR_Goes_Rawr 11
What a catastrophe! Maybe you've owned a cat all your life and just didn't know? It's been hiding in the shadows, only coming out to feed.
TheOnlyX 11
....and shit.
incendiaaa 23
pic+comment are incredibly fitting.
Screwie 25
Windows are easy things for cats to reach and sneak in. CLOSE THEM ALL AND PRAY FOR YOUR SAFETY.
GKnee 4
So.. how did you know it was cat p
Screwie 25
Cat poop is quite... Easy to recognize. Not very hard to know that it was one.
DerrickJames 33
They came. They saw. They pooped.
defferwa 9
Then who was phone?
1PersonIsMyWorld 22
They conquered!! Lol
morella_xx 29
Well, looks like you own one (or several) now!