Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
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Top comments
jellitonoctopus 19
Needles to say you did not go, right?
Glitterhinoceros 14
Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...
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Comments (98)
jellitonoctopus 19
Needles to say you did not go, right?
RaggleFrock 13
What a prick.
steff900 6
That sucks, your sister clearly isn't aware of your dislikes.
Jonkbaby 23
let me guess- you're (not) favorite movie is- Meet the NEEDLES, amirite, amirite? Hyuk!
Fisahgurl 1
29, what's with you and the whole "amirite" thing?
CryMoreFMLs 15
"Amirite?" just doesn't really cut it for you Jonk...
CryMoreFMLs 15
Awww 36 beat me to it as I was commenting... I feel shame for copying another...
CeruleanThree 8
What a sharp sense of humor
Chad_the_Brony 0
You guys really are on the point of the subject matter.
BrickWalls 2
#72 your picture made my day.
KittySaysMoo 6
My brother and I joke around with each other a lot. She was probably trying to get a laugh out of you.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...
chitown23 4
That movie is so ****** up
twilightluvr101 4
I was so scarred after that movie that I litterally kicked my doctor when he tried to give me a vaccine im scared for life
Dodge4x4Ram 46
ccccccccccombo breaker
Orlinda 2
happy birthday?!?!?
somebody_special 9
yes, happy birthday!
cdogLuvs2golf 0
Ha today is my birthday too
absolutegrrr 7
Happy birthday cdog :)
cdogLuvs2golf 0
Thank you
RachelBerry_fml 5
Aww! That sucks :( How did your sister not know?
modulusoperandy 7
It's not that she doesn't know. It's just that she is diagnosed with a typical bitchysis-syndrome.
pinkcrayola 0
Hey, a coupons a coupon. Who cares what it's for if you're saving money.
geeksaresexy 18
I sorta think you maybe missed the point of the FML.. Or was this an attempt to be funny?
redneck45x 2
Can you land a plane on that nose of yours?
ashii_92 10
Your not saving money if you don't need it...
KiddNYC1O 22
Cheap ****.
Ololo_fml 16
I used to like acupuncture, then I took a needle in the knee
philipino 24
Then i gave you a bullet to the face.
The_Troller 14
Then I gave [7] a duct tape to the mouth for even making that joke
CryMoreFMLs 15
7, I.. Don't even know how that makes sense... ... Why did this "joke" even catch on..?
THE_A_TEEN 28
My Skyrim knowlage may be a tad off, but I think because of some guards say this phrase (I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee) once you pass their gates. Then the morons decided that "THIS IS JOKE/MEME MATERIAL, HURR DURR". Now it suck's more than a moronic ass-brain...
Namerkp2 8
I never thought the "arrow to the knee" jokes were ever funny to begin with and now... it's like my eyes are getting gouged out every time I read them. We should make a petition for FML to punish any user who uses this joke with a permanent ban :D
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe the should really have to take an arrow to the knee?
ladyLALAA 29
**they
ScarletBloom 14
It won't hurt. Trust me.
Torva_fml 16
But what if it does?
soccercreator7 3
Just like the Dr.pepper commercials. "Trust me....I'm a doctor" .......whenever I see those commercials I trust them less... Good luck trusting someone you don't know OP
evilscorpi 29
hopefully u have friends to spend it with,
LadyClarik 8
Re-gift....Admit it...we've all been guilty.