Today, it's my birthday. The only thing I got was a coupon for a couples acupuncture session from my sister. I'm single and have an extreme fear of needles. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, it's my birthday. My birthday present was a pelvic exam, and not even the good kind of pelvic exam. Woo hoo! FML
Today, it was my birthday. My parents got me a box of cupcakes. My brother got me a deck of cards. My aunt got me a brochure on how to quit smoking. I have diabetes, I don't play cards, and I don't smoke. FML
Today, the only "Happy birthday!" I got was from the cake I bought for myself. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My gifts were a stomach bug from my kid and a confession to a year-long affair from my (now soon-to-be-ex) husband of 21 years. Nobody even got me a card. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My mom got me a gym membership and a bunch of clothes that are a few sizes too small. FML
Today, it's my sixteenth birthday. The only gift I got was from myself: a positive pregnancy test. FML
Today, it's my 22nd birthday. The only person who remembered was the dentist who sent me a postcard in the mail. I stopped going to him four years ago. FML
Today, it's my birthday. I don't mind crappy gifts, but I have to wonder why the hell my boyfriend bought me a home enema kit. FML
Today, the only birthday present I got was a gift card to a steak house. Not a bad gift, but I'm a vegan. FML
Today, it's my birthday. My parents, with whom I live, told me that they didn't get me anything, but instead they said they would knock off a bit of the housekeeping I owe them. FML
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Top comments
jellitonoctopus 19
Needles to say you did not go, right?
Glitterhinoceros 14
Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...
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Comments (98)
jellitonoctopus 19
Needles to say you did not go, right?
RaggleFrock 13
What a prick.
steff900 6
That sucks, your sister clearly isn't aware of your dislikes.
Jonkbaby 23
let me guess- you're (not) favorite movie is- Meet the NEEDLES, amirite, amirite? Hyuk!
Fisahgurl 1
29, what's with you and the whole "amirite" thing?
CryMoreFMLs 15
"Amirite?" just doesn't really cut it for you Jonk...
CryMoreFMLs 15
Awww 36 beat me to it as I was commenting... I feel shame for copying another...
CeruleanThree 8
What a sharp sense of humor
Chad_the_Brony 0
You guys really are on the point of the subject matter.
BrickWalls 2
#72 your picture made my day.
KittySaysMoo 6
My brother and I joke around with each other a lot. She was probably trying to get a laugh out of you.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Needles have never been the same after that Final Destination movie...
chitown23 4
That movie is so ****** up
twilightluvr101 4
I was so scarred after that movie that I litterally kicked my doctor when he tried to give me a vaccine im scared for life
Dodge4x4Ram 46
ccccccccccombo breaker
Orlinda 2
happy birthday?!?!?
somebody_special 9
yes, happy birthday!
cdogLuvs2golf 0
Ha today is my birthday too
absolutegrrr 7
Happy birthday cdog :)
cdogLuvs2golf 0
Thank you
RachelBerry_fml 5
Aww! That sucks :( How did your sister not know?
modulusoperandy 7
It's not that she doesn't know. It's just that she is diagnosed with a typical bitchysis-syndrome.
pinkcrayola 0
Hey, a coupons a coupon. Who cares what it's for if you're saving money.
geeksaresexy 18
I sorta think you maybe missed the point of the FML.. Or was this an attempt to be funny?
redneck45x 2
Can you land a plane on that nose of yours?
ashii_92 10
Your not saving money if you don't need it...
KiddNYC1O 22
Cheap ****.
Ololo_fml 16
I used to like acupuncture, then I took a needle in the knee
philipino 24
Then i gave you a bullet to the face.
The_Troller 14
Then I gave [7] a duct tape to the mouth for even making that joke
CryMoreFMLs 15
7, I.. Don't even know how that makes sense... ... Why did this "joke" even catch on..?
THE_A_TEEN 28
My Skyrim knowlage may be a tad off, but I think because of some guards say this phrase (I used to be an adventurer like you, then I took an arrow to the knee) once you pass their gates. Then the morons decided that "THIS IS JOKE/MEME MATERIAL, HURR DURR". Now it suck's more than a moronic ass-brain...
Namerkp2 8
I never thought the "arrow to the knee" jokes were ever funny to begin with and now... it's like my eyes are getting gouged out every time I read them. We should make a petition for FML to punish any user who uses this joke with a permanent ban :D
ladyLALAA 29
Maybe the should really have to take an arrow to the knee?
ladyLALAA 29
**they
ScarletBloom 14
It won't hurt. Trust me.
Torva_fml 16
But what if it does?
soccercreator7 3
Just like the Dr.pepper commercials. "Trust me....I'm a doctor" .......whenever I see those commercials I trust them less... Good luck trusting someone you don't know OP
evilscorpi 29
hopefully u have friends to spend it with,
LadyClarik 8
Re-gift....Admit it...we've all been guilty.