Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
SexyMexi21 23
Ew. man I'm sorry. hopefully they find who it is!
wRIPPERw 23
Chin up, OP. Those are just things. And flush the toilet...
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (201)
mikaellikestacos 14
This scares me if they are comfortable enough to take a dump while robbing you just think what they are capable of....
zocial 5
And they didn't DNA it when you called the cops
erielleC 2
You could get the police to search the poop for DNA
tika12991 15
Probably cause it's poop. That's why it doesn't look human. Cause it's... poop? No? Okay, I'll go...
Nuditi 10
Go CSI on that shit (no pun intended) and find his DNA
Merridew 8
Well... at least, thieves left something after them!
marramrammar 2
Nasty, but they left DNA evidence!
IchabodCrane 4
Talk about insult to injury. At least they were dumb enough to leave some DNA. Hope what they stole from you was worth it because nothing is worth going to jail for.
rabid_otaku 29
SAVE THE POOP! I think that's the weirdest thing I've said for a while... Anyway, their poop has their DNA, so they can trap them down.
CatchMe25 16
I'm pretty sure it's loosely translated as "Good luck OP! I hope you find out who they were and do the same!" Thought I'm not sure it's good policy to send someone out to randomly poop in toilets without flushing in hopes they get the right burglar haha.