Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my house got robbed, while I was upstairs taking a dump. FML
Today, my house was robbed while I sat helplessly on the toilet with violent diarrhoea. I could hear them laughing hysterically. FML
Today, I got burgled. Not only did he steal my TV and game consoles, but he took a huge diarrhea dump in my underwear drawer and wiped his ass with my tailored suit. The dry cleaner won't accept it because it's a biohazard. FML
Today, I woke up to find my house TP'd. I also noticed our entire house was devoid of toilet paper. Someone had broken in just to steal our toilet paper and TP our own house with it. FML
Today, I got home from a holiday to find out that my flatmate had thrown a party. Everything seemed fine at first, then I noticed that someone had taken a dump in my running shoes that were in my bedroom closet. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, at work, I went to fold a pair of pants that was left in a changing room to find out that someone had taken a dump in them. FML
Today, my house was broken into. Nothing was stolen, but my laptop had feces smeared all over it. FML
Today, I came home to find my home had been broken into. Nothing was taken, but all the drains were plugged and the water left blasting on high, with a note that said “enjoy the mess”. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
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Top comments
SexyMexi21 23
Ew. man I'm sorry. hopefully they find who it is!
wRIPPERw 23
Chin up, OP. Those are just things. And flush the toilet...
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Comments (201)
KatyLarae 13
He gave you the perfect evidence. DNA test should do the trick.
sprints54 19
There is DNA in poop just sayin
fortune789 17
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
musicsadyingart 12
Be on the lookout for the turd burglar.
knoney19 12
Well at least you can get DNA from it and shit......
aBanana_1 10
Maybe it wasn't???????
HunterMark 14
DNA evidence
Iwannabetreo 11
So, you had some of your things stolen... Thieves went through your things and took some of them. They were in your house doing god knows what else and the worst part.. was feces in the toilet?
Jamaican_Domo 10
Don't flush it and call the authorities, they can do a DNA test, so they catch the thieves and you get your stuff back!
SiKH_WiT_iT 13
DNA dumb ass. The evidence is right there.