Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
ozpunker 20
You should give your husband the "You're sleeping in the couch tonight" face.
cb1002630 11
This is me giving you the "yell at your inconsiderate husband" face. >=|
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Comments (53)
vbmg152 19
Men just don't think about that stuff. They get on the computer or watching TV & forget everything else!
mattlw 25
Rub his nose in it.... I mean the husbands nose of course!
benimin 6
I was the 22222 like
Fmlreadermostly 20
Either dump the dog or the jerk hubby.
austx 3
Maybe you shouldn't have changed your shoes first.
withered 30
#88 You need to be dense if you see a FML where one person neglects the animal and the other comes home, wants to change shoes (which takes a few seconds) and you somehow find the blame in the 2nd person.
escobar07 10
Did you really need to change your shoes to open a back door??? Wheres that deserve button
lollypop30001 19
I would make your Husband shit outside for a week.
UNLUCKYyY1037 26
If he can't take care of the pussy he can't take care of the dog
Whathefuck02 8
You're husband is a dick. Make him shit in the dog's place for a week. Maybe it's time for him to get off his lazy ass
fantasyworld 39
Sounds like something my parents would do.