Today, I came home after working overtime to find my dog whining and giving me her "I need to take a shit" face. After changing my shoes, I came back ready to let her out, only to find her giving me the "I just took a shit on your rug" face. My husband has been home all day. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. Five minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog had shat in the exact same spot, apparently to make me look stupid. FML
Today, I couldn’t tell that my puppy had an upset stomach before I left for work. I came home to her covered in shit inside her crate. After cleaning her up and almost being done with the mess, my husband found where she had tried to lick herself clean and then vomited it up in our bedroom. FML
Today, I got home from a long day of work and saw a pile of dog puke on the kitchen floor. I went to get paper towels and found a pile of dog shit. With my foot. Both of my kids were home all day and left the piles for me to clean because "that's gross". FML
Today, I came home to find that my dog had taken a dump on my bed. I quickly put on my house shoes to avoid possibly stepping on any other of his turds. I felt something squish all over my right foot. He'd also taken a dump in my house shoe. FML
Today, coming home, I discovered that my dog had left me a beautiful mound of poop in the middle of the corridor. He'd made an effort, though: there was a roll of shredded toilet paper next to it. FML
Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML
Today, I caught my dog attempting to shit on the carpet. When I saw him, I screamed. Startled, he ran around the house, continuing to take his shit. Now, I don't have to clean up a nice pile, I get to go on a scavenger hunt and find all of the scattered turds. FML
Today, I brought my new puppy home. I saw her sniffing around, so I took her outside to do her business. She simply played in the grass for ten minutes, so I brought her in. She walked in the door, squatted, and shit. She has diarrhea. This is the fourth time today. FML
Today, my dog and I came in from an afternoon in the back yard and he immediately shat on the carpet. Way to go boy. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
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Top comments
ozpunker 20
You should give your husband the "You're sleeping in the couch tonight" face.
cb1002630 11
This is me giving you the "yell at your inconsiderate husband" face. >=|
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Comments (53)
summerlong 13
Shouldn't have went to change your shoes.
hurley12 30
Should have waited to take your shoes off.
CTMPandemonium 16
That sounds exactly like my friends and her ex.
onorexveritas 24
your husband should have to clean it up
martinfml 8
Why didn't you just open the door, let your dog have some privacy, and then your dog would come back.. probably.
VeganVampyre 27
This is one of the few where I say it's a FYL and YDI. Although mostly its a F your dog's life. If your husband was home, he should have taken the dog out a few times throughout the day, so FYL for having a lazy asshole, who obviously doesn't care about your poor dog, for a husband. However, as soon as you got home and saw that she badly needed out, you should have let her out RIGHT AWAY. If you really needed to change your shoes before going for a walk, you could have let her out just long enough to go, then changed and taken her on a proper walk. So YDI because your dog should ALWAYS come first, no matter what. They are members of our families who love and protect us almost unconditionally, and all they ask is that we love and take care of them because they can't take care of themselves. Unless you want her ******** on your rug every day.
withered 30
Stop being an imbecile. It's understandable she wanted to change her shoes. And unless they were hard to put on (some army boots with 18 holes or something) that takes just a few seconds. And since she saw her dog was in a hurry I doubt she wanted to change in shoes that take few min to put on...
MissAnnThropelb1 2
I love the little animals; I really do... But u guys are ridiculously overreacting here. Obviously she meant to WALK her dog; not just let it out... And I don't know about you but where I live u can't do that in high heels unless u wanna come back toe-deep in freezing slush.
gioo_fml 6
Punch your husband in the face for being so stupid!!
enduriwolf 19
wow sounds like my bf. we have 3 german shepherds. i cant blame him tho. he will take the two males out but not the female he got tired if wasting his time. she wont go for him only me :/ but it annoys me he wont keep trying cuz she has to learn lol. but at least she will hold it till i take her out so no poo in my carpet :)
Omniprism 15
Sounds like my house. My husband does not like my animals.