jenni6488
United Kingdom
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Crying
It's toast
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
thebravelittletoaster
United Kingdom
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
latter
Middle River, United States
Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
thatchick3333
United States
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Anonymous
United States
Freakout
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
purplexangel
Lubbock, United States
Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML
gofixmyhead
United Kingdom
Student life
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
bymyself
Depressing
Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
anon
Dublin, United States
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
You sir are a dandy
Pelreskovich 11
That rapscallion of a toaster!
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Comments (94)
SeemsToFail 0
This isnt a fml I dont even get it
sr101998 0
I know right!? It's pointless!
rosha267 21
Fellow Americans being cheeky is used when someone or in this case something is being sassy or having nerve so the toaster had the nerve to finish before the kettle....just imagine the toaster winking at her afterwards
nikijcchz 10
U need a life!!!!
Redoxx_fml 22
You cheeky thing
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
21- That's completely irrevelant to the FMLt.
himoonkey 8
54, maybe it is relevant to the FMLt. Cuz I see a lot of things in a FMLt.
TheFakeFamilyGuy 10
****.
bioboy725 10
F My Lieutenant?
DocBastard 40
When the tea kettle whistled, did you tell it to behave?
rattusrattus 19
When the kettle whistles, you give it a cigarette. It's done, and is very satisfied.
metalsmith 0
British kettles don't tend to whistle
reapy 14
@78 yep. We have electric kettles, but tumble dryers and washer/dryers are seen as a luxury.... go figure....
neverdrinkSODA 12
I sure am very fortunate that I am not you OP. I'm sorry that happened to you...
Swiftly 0
Hahaha this made my day don't worry I do that sometimes just to be silly.
DeathBunny218 37
Something about this post reminds me of Salad Fingers
Swiftly 0
"I think I'll call you...Milfred Cubicle"
icecreamdriveby 5
Hubert Cumberdale, you taste like soot and poo.
xxmollyxx 25
Funniest thing I've read in days. You little rascal...!
ThatGuyRory 9
Well, according to my friends, at a party i drunk sex with a toaster. So don't feel too bad.
muffinXmonster 12
Do you degrade all of your appliances when they do their jobs on time?