Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML
Today, our stove broke. Now, we have to cook using a toaster oven. FML
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Today, in an attempt to be frugal, I tried to repair my own sometimes-faulty toaster. Turns out I unplugged the wrong kitchen appliance, which I only discovered by electrocuting myself while pulling it apart. Now it's definitely broken, will need replacing, and I have a burn. FML
Today, my kids tried to make grilled cheese by turning the toaster sideways. When all was done, it all flew out onto the kitchen floor. Both my kids and my husband left the mess there for me to clean up when I got home. FML
Today, I made the mistake of taking apart and fixing a malfunctioning toaster in front of my five year-old. Two hours later, he tried to take apart a lamp that was plugged in. He shocked himself, broke the lamp, and set the carpet on fire. FML
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
Today, I went to interview with potential new roommates at a cooperative living house. I decided to bake cookies for everyone, and while touring the house, I forgot about the cookies and set off a small oven fire. All this after professing how responsible I am. FML
Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML
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Top comments
iAmScrubs 19
Call for backup. We can not let this sorry excuse for a dried-up grape get away with a crime like this.
Fruit_Dealer 9
I heard the rate of suicide bombing on toatsers are raisin' these days.
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Comments (134)
KYLAisaBITCH 4
At least it didn't catch the building on fire..
nixter5 18
Too much happening in this FML for me to comprehend.
BadMofeelius 0
Agreed
jillianmathers12 13
Same! I think that I need school to come back!
FFPulley 9
The Brave Little Toaster has met it's match. It is a sad, sad day.
sydneynault99 7
agreeeed...
coffeygirl12 14
Raisins are evil. Don't trust them...
Spinnmaster 1
Sometimes you just gotta do some work on a toaster.
NabbdjuretPerry 0
Its always something with toast on FML...
ducttapewallet 7
F that toasters L
Feklfekl2222 32
I think you mean "at least it didn't SET the building on fire.."
fakeaccountX 6
This is honestly the most entertaining thing I have ever read. Thank you for being in the UK.
bryannab1 0
My toaster bursted into flames once when i put in a toaster waffle.
farhil 14
Looks like your toaster was "raisin" its standards... Yeah? Ok I'll admit that was terrible
humorizer 14
You think that's embarrassing? My pet venus fly trap died eating a ladybug. :/
Feklfekl2222 32
Why am I thumbed down???
humorizer 14
Probably due to your condescending nature of correcting an innocent person's grammar. We grammar nazis only attack people's grammar when they are conceited and deserve to be taunted. The initial poster was making a harmless joke and as such should not be Nazi'd.
Feklfekl2222 32
Yes but they could at least show a basic comprehension of English and not write in the fashion of a nursery child
MareNostrum 0
You didn't even punctuate your sentence. -_-
Feklfekl2222 32
I personally am rubbish at punctuation but I do have a justified objection to people not using the correct words.
Feklfekl2222 32
I am coming back to this FML slightly over four years later, and I would like to apologise for my sheer unadulterated dickishness, I'm embarrassed just looking at how I acted
iAmScrubs 19
Call for backup. We can not let this sorry excuse for a dried-up grape get away with a crime like this.
CryMoreFMLs 15
I'm on the case with my tracker hound already scrubs. It won't get far!
Fruit_Dealer 9
I heard the rate of suicide bombing on toatsers are raisin' these days.
flockz 20
my face is wrinkled with frustration. the search for the elusive "raisin bomber" has hit a dry streak.
Sunny_Eclipse 6
...I see what you did there, 29.
flockz 20
i see what you did there 36.... all though i think i am the only one who will ever see what i did there...
Sonic_boomerang 5
I see what you did there 44
TheRealHouse 7
I see dead people
ItsTheKing 10
I see what you did there 44. Wrinkled lol.
lol0wnee 5
Ew raisins
hailphire130 0
What?! It's always a beautiful day with two scoops of raisins.
HannahForbesxo 13
Raisins are little dried-up bits of evil.
lovelydarlings 6
Raisinets are the bomb though!
unluckiestperson_fml 14
Chocolate covered raisins I can bear, regular ones are awful
xADTR182 0
The toaster was probably made by the Japs.
tebonz 4
Sup
Jimster1712 0
Nothing much
turtleomnom 0
well, clearly it was the residue from the chicken soup that had accumulated. it was a ticking time bomb. but still, epic fail! :D
jscrim 0
No shit, prick. Obviously it was the soup. The point is, it sucks. No lectures required.
Jdeluxh 12
Cool your jets.
kelsey_katie 17
73, calm your horses.
Jovecove 13
Raisins are evil creatures, disguised as little fruits!
TheRealHouse 7
kinda like emo kids? jk.. ;)
crinx034 0
Wait emo's are disguised now?! Damn things are everywhere, spreading their depression and STD's
emmanizzer 6
Since when do emo's spread STDs?
turtleomnom 0
they aren't creatures, they're my evil robot minions that are going to take over the world for me. be afraid >:)
MareNostrum 0
Since when do emos actually suffer from depression?
YtotsDI 0
Since I became emo
cassbird09 12
I think the chicken soup crumpets may be to blame. They may have dripped into it and then when toy turned it on it ignited.
HannahLouise96 13
It was a kamikaze raisin, on a mission to destroy.
xADTR182 0
So mine gets modded and not this??
Monkeyone 0
That stinks for you!!