jenni6488
United Kingdom
Today, I called the toaster a "cheeky thing" for being done before the kettle. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Crying
It's toast
Today, I no longer have a toaster. My younger sister put it in the bath because apparently it looked dirty. FML
thebravelittletoaster
United Kingdom
Today, the estranged crumbs in my toaster caught light while I was making breakfast. The toast, toaster, and my wooden bench are now little more than collateral damage. FML
latter
Middle River, United States
Today, I had to explain to my brother why it's not OK to stick his knob in the toaster. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, I noticed something written on the top of my toaster, so I used a finger to clear away some of the crumbs, burning my finger in the process. The writing? "CAUTION: Hot surface!" Thanks, toaster. FML
thatchick3333
United States
Today, I got burned, all because the toaster scared me while I was holding a pot of boiling water. FML
Anonymous
United States
Freakout
Today, I realized that my anger problems have gotten out of hand when I shouted, "Fuck you!" at my toaster. My mood swings and loneliness have also reached a new high, evidently, as my next actions were to apologize to the appliance and then continue talking to it. FML
purplexangel
Lubbock, United States
Today, I tried to stand by my toaster and train myself to not jump when it popped up. Not only did I jump, I also knocked the toaster off the counter and onto my toes. FML
gofixmyhead
United Kingdom
Student life
Today, in the flat I share with four students, I broke our toaster. The night before, they'd successfully managed to toast chicken soup-covered crumpets in it whilst drunk. I tried to toast a teacake, and the whole thing exploded in flames and smoke. Our toaster got taken out by a raisin. FML
bymyself
Depressing
Today, the nicest thing said to me all day was from my microwave, which flashes "Enjoy your meal" when it finishes cooking something. FML
anon
Dublin, United States
Today, I walked into my mother's house to find that she had knitted clothes for some of the household appliances. The toaster was wearing a dress. FML
Top comments
Redoxx_fml 22
You sir are a dandy
Pelreskovich 11
That rapscallion of a toaster!
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (94)
wironandine 8
Funniest fml in a while.
micahsmommy 13
Well it was rather cheeky. Now your crumpets will be cold before you make your tea. :(
ImaginaryFoe 1
Cold crumpets are a curse. That toaster got what he deserved. Well done, OP, setting it right.
nfjskcbdkdjdjdn 2
That totally didn't make sense until I saw that you're from the UK.
bizarre_ftw 22
Get help. Quickly. And stay away from pointy objects and explosives as well, just incase. Oh! And don't forget to tip the umbrella holder on your way out to find a good shrink.
bdathorne 6
you cheeky little bugger!
griffin1617 3
You have been dating to many Brits. Mix it up some.
Nikkisha16 0
Good job being a jerk. I mean, seriously?
KatieKupcake4195 9
How is this not a YDI? Seriously, why post an FML like this? It only makes you look dumb lol
BAxSoulCity 1
when i first saw this, i said," this person has got to me from england" and you were. lol
sydneyinfinity 2
I don't see why this post is on FML
marcus903 17
This has GOT to be a troll FML. What dumbass try to verbally insult a toaster or an object that doesn't even have a nervous system? What? You're under the belief that you could 'hurt' the toaster's feelings just because you called it a 'cheeky thing?' How is that even an insult? I hate stupid people like this.