Today, I called my ex boyfriend to tell him that not only am I still in love with him, I'm also three months pregnant with his child. Upon hearing the news, he swore, called me a pathetic liar, swore some more, and hung up on me. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I called my ex and told him I was pregnant with his child. He was thrilled, going on and on about how much he wanted to be a dad. I had to tell him I was going to abort it. FML
Today, I called my boyfriend to let him know that I'm pregnant. He instantly replied "Bullshit!", then hung up and apparently skipped town. FML
Today, my pregnancy test came back positive. My boyfriend is no fan of fatherhood, so it was with some hesitation that I called him and let him know I'm pregnant. He replied, "Like hell you are!" and hung up. He now refuses to answer any of my calls. FML
Today, I had to tell my ex that I'm pregnant with his baby. I sent him a casual "Hey :)" text to try to ease into things. He replied, "WHO THE FUCK IS THIS?" and ended up threatening to make my life hell if I don't tell my new boyfriend that the child is his. FML
Today, my ex called, saying she's 3 months pregnant. She seems to have forgotten that we haven't been in the same room, much less friends, in over a year. My dimwitted wife thinks the baby is mine. FML
Today, I accidentally got pregnant by my boyfriend of three years and now I’m 4 months pregnant, single and we don’t even talk anymore. The best part is that he doesn’t believe I’m pregnant, nor that it’s his. FML
Today, my ex-boyfriend called my parents to let them know I broke up with him. He was sobbing. FML
Today, I met my ex, who told me he had something very important to tell me. I thought he was about to tell me that his girlfriend is pregnant (a fact I already knew). He told me that he still loves me and he'd never stopped. FML
Today, my ex showed up at my doorstep, claiming to be pregnant with my baby. Of course, I pointed out we broke up ten months ago and hadn't seen each other again until just now, and she is currently six months along. She actually admitted to my face that she figured I'd be too stupid to put the pieces together. FML
Today, I told my boyfriend I was pregnant. Instead of being happy, he freaked out, then told me I was trying to "trap" him. We've been together for 12 years, and trying for 3. FML
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Top comments
ImaginaryFoe 1
FYL but what did you expect? Did you think he might say he's been missing you, didn't have the courage to call, and can't wait to be a real family of three? Time to put your big girl knickers on, dear. Grow up. You don't have the luxury of lounging in self-pity at the moment since you have some big decisions to make. I hope things work out well for you. Don't count on anybody giving you a "happily ever after" ending.
Thecarpaltunnelo 0
That sucks. Be glad you're not with him anymore, he sounds like a prick.
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Comments (293)
Ophelia550 0
Sweetie...do NOT keep telling him you love him. That's the quickest way to run him off. Act like you could care less and deal with him unemotionally when it comes to the pregnancy. Men don't think like we do.
jmasters 0
yup Amen!!!
mintcar 10
Why did you wait that long to tell him about your pregnancy?
Acousticpixie14 6
Maybe she just found out about it? A lot of women don't have a ton of pregnancy symptoms And some are so uneducated on the matter, that even when they do have symptoms, they don't know to test for pregnancy.
MuchDance90s 0
yeah you can "spot" which makes you think you're on your period.... and then be "late" the next month... voilà, two months passed already... so she maybe has irregular periods and therefore waits another week or so to make sure she is not pregnant.... then another week to decide what she wants to do (keep, adopt or terminate)... it's not hard to get to three months
sweet_candy_ 17
Oh gosh this sounds like a typical day at school fyl op.
perdix 31
So, when's the wedding? 'Grats on the marriage and the baby! Sounds like your kid is going to learn a colorful vocabulary from its dad.
jaylil11 0
screw him for child support that was stupid for some of yall to say it take more then that to raise a child and at the end of the day he doesn't have to do anything mommas baby poppas maybe it take 2 ppl to have sex be it also takes 2 to be aware of what comes with it #assholes
DVecc 0
I can't even begin to understand what you just wrote, please take some English grammar classes before you post again.
lorianngie 0
Amen.
mrpyramids 8
wat did you do to get him that mad from u??????????????
Pb25797051 0
um she's pregnant, dumbass.
TandJHire 0
time to call maury for a DNA test!
GuidoCheese 0
You said this twice.
heyygurl 0
fail.
talktomandybaby 8
hahahaaa
truthinlies 1
Jerry Jerry
Sparx1_1 16
Send him a pic of the sonogram and tell him he's an asshole. Next, get over him and get on with your life.