Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I spent twenty minutes trying to shoo a bird out of my apartment. After finally getting it outside, I closed the window, turned around, and realized I'd locked myself out instead. The bird flew away. I didn't. FML
Today, the bird that has been stuck in my roof for two days, keeping me awake at night, finally flew out of the roof and into the house. As I was opening the door to send it outside, it flew straight back up into the roof. FML
Today, a pigeon flew into my apartment through an open window. I tried for 20 minutes to guide it back outside. It eventually left on its own, then immediately flew back in through the window again. FML
Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML
Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML
Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Today, it's 1 a.m. and once again a freaking bird has flew into my house from the attic. My cats are of course all crazy right now as it sits in my room, in a high corner beyond reach. My children are sleeping and I have no way to let it outside from where it is right now. Oh and it's freezing outside. FML
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
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Top comments
jSOPURE 3
No freaking way... Let me guess what's for dinner. :)
KenMcGormick 0
Today, I just gotten from a pet shop to my new owner's house. They decided that I should be let flying around the house. They forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
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Comments (98)
_abcdeF 0
that parakeet's life is ****** up all right..
sh_tf_ck 0
Hmmm. You post a lot of FMLs. I think they're all fake. But they're still entertaining.
Lifey66 0
this is why i get my birds' wings clipped. it doesn't hurt them and it keeps them safe and in the house!
TomLanders 0
This one is fake, no parakeet is dumb to fly near something shooting wind at them.
TheSacredRatty 18
You know there is something called wind in the wild right? The bird was obviously scared and tried to fly upwind to run away
meow_meow_fml 0
maybe a hamster?
loli_girl 0
don't ever forget to put the toilet seat down either cus they can drown themselves...
Cablephish 0
Imagine what the bird was thinking. "Today, I got a new owner to take me home. He got home and wanted to let me fly around the house. They went around making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately they forgot to turn off the ceiling fan." Poor bird. My father accidentally let mine out the door, at least it lived longer maybe...
Lifey66 0
Don't forget to turn off all stovetops/open flames and close all oven doors too.
pinkfrenchrose 5
Today, some random person put me in a cage and took me to a strange new building. When I was released, I was so happy to be free I didn't notice the spinning blades on the ceiling. FML
Amkii 0
#20 - Because it's a living creature with nerves, a brain, and personality. Do you say that at funerals, too? "Why would anyone mourn a human?" It's the same reason with a parakeet.