Today, I set my parrot in the bathroom while I cleaned his cage, thinking he would be safe there. He was in fact safe, but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after months of teaching my parrot to speak, he finally demonstrated his abilities. I accidentally set off my smoke detector, and he's been wailing like a dying banshee ever since. FML
Today, I bought a parakeet for my kids. When I got home and presented it to them, they wanted to let him fly around inside. We went around the house making sure all the windows and doors were shut. Unfortunately I forgot to turn off the ceiling fan. FML
Today, I came home to find that my sweet kitten had gotten out and dragged a bird inside, where he ripped it to shreds. I found the bird's head in my underwear drawer. FML
Today I bought a new cage, along with some toys, for my bird. I came home to find my bird had escaped its old cage. FML
Today, I was caring for a bird that had flown into my window. I thought the poor thing wouldn't make it, when it shit in my hand, flew into my neck, then around my living room for ages before I could manage to get it out of the window. FML
Today, I was showing off my new pet bird to my friends over video chat. I opened the cage to demonstrate how friendly he was. Instead of perching on my finger like usual, he flew out the window. I spent the next hour chasing him around the neighborhood in my pajamas. FML
Today, I went home for lunch. Upon opening the door, I smelled something horrid. My dog had opened his cage, eaten all the dog treats, and had diarrhea all over my bed and bedroom floor. FML
Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML
Today, my son pooped in his diaper and managed to somehow take it off without my knowledge. He then sat down on the carpet and imitated a dog with worms, all the way down the hallway, through the living room, and into my bedroom. FML
Today, my dog had diarrhea in his cage. While I was carrying his dirty bed downstairs to the washer, he ran by and tripped me. FML
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Top comments
raven_of_azarath 35
It’s called a trash can. It’s where you put trash, like a used maxi pad.
raven_of_azarath 35
I’ve had pets my whole life and never had a trash can with a lid in the bathroom. It was never a problem.
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Comments (4)
Susan Yee 9
You have a pet, but you don’t use a trash can with lid? YDI.
raven_of_azarath 35
I’ve had pets my whole life and never had a trash can with a lid in the bathroom. It was never a problem.
RichardPencil 32
Aw, poor maxi-pad! I'll bet being chomped on by a parrot was the second-worst thing that happened to it that day.
s_ve 7
As a female you should know how to properly throw your feminine products away.
BigSissy 14
OP didn’t say whether the sanitary pad was new or used.
rotflqtms_ 21
"But not so the used maxi pad he chewed up"... The USED maxi pad...
sarkycow 25
"....but not so the used maxi pad he chewed up." Yes, they did state whether it was used or not.
Sady_Ct 38
Re read... they did say it was a ‘used maxi pad’
slowhandjp 18
Why did you leave the used maix pad in the bathroom?
raven_of_azarath 35
It’s called a trash can. It’s where you put trash, like a used maxi pad.