Today, I bit my boyfriend's neck. I felt something squirt into my mouth. Turns out I had just popped a pimple on his neck. Into my mouth. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while getting intimate with my boyfriend, he started sucking on my breast. He ended up popping a pimple on it into his mouth. He threw up and that, as they say, was the end of that. FML
Today, I was about to make out with my boyfriend, so I quickly swallowed my gum. Moments later, I started choking on the gum, and ended up spitting it out into his face. FML
Today, right before my boyfriend and I were about to have sex, he touched his butt and says, "Oh I have a butt pimple." He then went and popped it. FML
Today, I was giving my boyfriend a blowjob, which I don't normally do because I have a fear of getting hit in the eye. Afterwards, I went to suck a lemon to get the taste out of my mouth. Sure enough, I bit the wrong spot and had lemon juice shoot right into my eye. FML
Today, after making love to my boyfriend, I went upstairs to shower. After turning it on, I found a huge pimple on my leg and the prospect of popping it excited me more than my boyfriend ever had in bed. FML
Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. It was going well until our braces got caught. Out of pain, I tried to pull away, which made my eyes water. Then I sneezed in his mouth. FML
Today, I was brushing my teeth in my bathroom. As I looked in the mirror, I spotted a zit on my forehead. Keeping my toothbrush in my mouth, I quickly leaned in towards the mirror to pop the pimple, meanwhile lodging my toothbrush down my throat. I temporarily can't talk. FML
Today, my boyfriend tried to be sexy and take off my clothes with his teeth. He ended up biting my leg. FML
Today, I got back at my boyfriend for sticking the hoover nozzle in my mouth as a prank by doing the exact same thing to him. Unfortunately, it must have burst a blood vessel in his lip because it swelled right up and his entire lower jaw on the right side is just one massive bruise. FML
Today, I was snuggling with my boyfriend on the couch. We ended up falling asleep, and when I woke up I felt a slobberly substance running down my face. It turns out, my boyfriend drooled so much, it filled my ear and overflowed onto my face. FML
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Top comments
brittbaybiee 0
ewww
alley_cat_118 0
#5: many guys (myself included) dig neck-biting without being vampires. #9: it doesn't take much to pop a pimple if it's already near bursting. Everyone else: you're absolutely right, this is beyond disgusting.
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Comments (1224)
could_be_funny 0
that is nasty...but how do you not see a zit that pops that easily?
nityasomaiya 46
With the lights off, in the dark, where sexy things happen.
oooh_dear 0
im pretty sure that thats not sanitary.
two_bears 0
Today, I was calmly reading stories on fmylife.com when I came across this one and nearly threw up everywhere. FML
canigothere_2010 0
hahahaha omg! this had 2b lyk da most DISGUSTING thing i've ever heard n my entire life! idk what i would do if that ever happened to me. next time, try to do a neck inspection b4 chowing down plz.
Brap_brap 0
Hunny, buy a dictionary Please!!
justagirl79 2
i agree
cierraashlee 5
Your funny!
Royalistic 8
FMLception
Ldy_S_FTW 0
omfg. thats just....yuck...i love my men w/ clear, baby smooth skin...
Fulisk 0
I don't think you get too many men with that, you're fairly ugly
sxdryv 14
Ugly!? Hardly. But a real man has hair on his body not like these primped up ken dolls of today. Same dudes that lower pick-UP trucks.
SuperSouper 0
Lml! Werd @Fulisk
Elizabeth McElveen Horne 19
Burn...
Mikeymikey 4
are u blind??? cudnt u bite him sumwhere where theres NO pimples??? u nearly deserved this one... but its tooo groosssss... ifeel bad 4 u. on the other hand. its just fat... its better than landing yr face into poo right?
TheBritishOne 0
I don't know about that. I think I'd prefer pooh rather then puss!!!! urg, so disgusting.
CaligurlLULU 0
actually, if ur necking your eyes are closed. you don't see it. durrr get ur facts right
iluffmcrandbvb 1
you'd know, wouldn't you.
onlyoncamera 0
I totally agree with you!! I feel really bad for the girl though =( Better luck next time…?
Slender_Man 6
I'm about to throw a ******* dictionary at your face.
apastry 6
omnomnom
69banana69 0
this guy^^^^^ WIN!!!!
Foster_33 4
ahaha major win
ffffssssdddd 0
lol
D3ADSN1P3R 2
oh shit had me die'n.over here lol omnomnom
mai1808 0
agree with #15. are your eyes closed that time? eeww. so gross. what does it taste like? lol
CaligurlLULU 0
your eyes are closed actually. I should know...
heliraptor 13
Not always, many people think eye contact makes it even hotter. You're welcome. :)
freaky_00 0
lol
Faced159 0
Wow. That was disgusting. lol @ 17
Brandon25 0
NASTY, you should have looked b4