Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
God, I'm so hungry now. FYL though.
PianoManGidley 0
So what does it sound like? Just a general sizzle?
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Comments (115)
couragewolf9001 0
#32 You're* can't* But, then again,* So* *til wasn't*
neverland_fml 0
Glutton. That piece of sensual, delicious wonderful beautiful pastry would have still been there in 5 minutes. Honest to Shiva. YDI.
NoBounceNoPlay 0
@32… chill, man. Obviously, this person knows he didn't think. What's with the rant? I mean, people act like stuff like this never happens to them. Haven't you ever bought a big slice of pizza, and couldn't wait for it to cool?
Roddsy 0
#33 But then again,* until* rofls ;p
nikkireese 0
haha #4. looks like the grammar police are out again
couragewolf9001 0
#36 Hats off to you, Sir.
Seegtease 0
How have you survived to an age where you can use a computer?
tehhotness 0
WTF??? how did you not notice it was hot when you had it in your hand?
judgeymcjudge 0
#4 = WIN.
game_over_fml 0
#33 #36 lmfao, beautiful.