Today, at work, my boss made me spend a hour trying to catch a baby raccoon in the parking lot. I'm a bank teller. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was bringing the garbage cans inside and noticed one felt a little heavy. I opened it, only to find a raccoon. A very angry raccoon. FML
Today, I saw a raccoon family on my front porch. There were 3 little babies. Wanting to keep one as a pet, I scooped up one of the babies. The mother raccoon turned around, made a bizarre roaring, hissing sound, and attacked me. I’m currently in the ER covered in grass and scratches. FML
Today, I tried to pet what I thought was a cute cat under my porch. As it turned out, it was actually a raccoon. It hissed at me, and I screamed so loud that my neighbors came running. FML
Today, while sitting on my front porch, my cat came up beside me. I started idly stroking her, only to turn and realize I was petting a wild raccoon. FML
Today, I was trying to rescue a stray dog and used my work ID to lasso him. I scooped him up and was carrying him to my car when something spooked him and he ran off with my work ID. I eventually found him and traded him a granola bar for my work ID, but not before I reported it missing to my boss. FML
Today, I found an enormous raccoon in my backyard. After a couple of nasty scratches, I finally managed to capture the filthy animal. After calling animal control to relocate it, I waited for hours to learn that "relocating" actually means releasing it into my front yard 10 feet away. FML
Today, after three weeks of holding out, my stingy boss finally called animal control about the birds in the air vent above the register. While I was working, they rummaged through the vents, causing live maggots to fall down right in front of me. FML
Today, I went to use a public restroom. I walked into the first stall and found it occupied… by a raccoon. It hissed at me, and in my panic, I backed into a janitor's cart, knocking over the mop and bucket. I had to leave the bathroom drenched in dirty water while a crowd of people watched. FML
Today, at work, someone found a bat indoors. I offered my help. They shouted, "Let someone with the right expertise do it." I volunteer as a bat carer. FML
Today, I was on a job trial at the local pet shop and, naturally, was doing all the disgusting jobs. As I was cleaning the kittens' litter in the cat enclosure, someone thought it would be funny to lock me in there. I sat in a giant cage in the middle of the store with people laughing at me. FML
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Top comments
krushr 3
Maybe he thought it was a bank robber?
w2z1 0
It was wearing a mask!
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Comments (79)
krushr 3
Maybe he thought it was a bank robber?
Bobby64 29
Sly Cooper, maybe?
Unconfined_ 0
^win (:
RyGan 0
YDI for being a bank teller . What IS a bank teller?
zakkyzebra 11
haha funner than your job I bet. yes I'm aware it is more fun. don't grammar rape me
SarahPicc 3
dude!! that was freakin hilarious! :) mmd.
TheOtherNewest1 6
*Haha, more fun than your job I bet, and yes I am aware that it is 'more fun.' Please don't grammar rape me. ^ Consider yourself grammar raped.
iwuvwolfz 0
lol 39, you just got grammar raped by 47 xD Thought you were smart, amirite?
nathan5 0
why not just write more fun instead of correcting yourself and sounding stupider? (yes i am aware that its stupid, please dont grammar rape me)
melanie177 1
Well... baby racoons are cutee sooo..
AntoshaChekhonte 6
Eh, been there, done that. I've chased animals all over the place for various jobs. It's a matter of public health for us and safety for the animal. Would you rather the little bastard got hit by a car? That's not very nice of you.
underaegis 0
actually I'd rather my boss get hit; the racoon as well
iSitt 0
I'd rather none of you get rabies
w2z1 0
It was wearing a mask!
brookeec 0
I bet it was something different. Atleast you'll go home today with a funny story? :)
aussie_gemini 5
hahaha tough!
substitutes 0
Don't let it die! Save the cute critter
tigercoon 12
Aww! He probably thought he was going to steal from the bank :p Well, I hope you didn't harm it, if you ever did catch it xD But FYL for having to chase it :s
skorned 0
Well duh! Didn't your actual job become redundant about the same time ATMs were introduced?!
pennguitarist14 0
An ATM machine won't allow you to withdraw a $1000 or more.
MissErikaHart 0
Vegas ATMs let u pull out $5000... (in the casinos) Vegas ftw
underpaid011 0
I would rather catch a raccoon than wait on asshole bank customers. ever hear a raccoon complain??
xStiina 0
Fun, at least you didn't have to sit around..