Today, I baked a chicken pot pie in the oven. I pulled it out, and noticed a big piece of tasty-looking, flaky pastry had come loose. Without thinking I ripped it off and popped it into my mouth. I HEARD the skin on the inside of my cheeks burn. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, as I was trying to remove my lunch from the hot oven tray, my finger brushed against the metal for a moment, and I instinctively put it in my mouth. I burnt my tongue, on my finger. I didn't realize that was possible. FML
Today, I popped something straight out of the oven into my mouth. It burned my tongue instantly, but instead of spitting it out, I swallowed. I felt it burning all the way down. Now I can’t eat solid food or drink hot drinks. FML
Today, I had so much skin peeling off my lips that it got caught in my fork as I was eating. FML
Today, I got a meat pie for lunch. I bit into it and felt something hard. I spat it out. It was a tooth. I checked my mouth in a panic and discovered, with mixed feelings of relief and horror, that the tooth wasn’t mine. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I baked a cake. After feeding it to my entire family, I opened the stove, planning to temporarily store the cake inside. I then noticed a mouse, burnt to a crisp. FML
Today, I made myself a hot pocket for lunch. I managed to scald myself on the red-hot cheese, and at the same time bite into the center, which was somehow still frozen solid. FML
Today, I was making a homemade pizza for myself. I've been unhappy lately, so I arranged the pepperoni in the shape of a smiley face to cheer myself up. The pizza burned. FML
Today, whilst on a road trip with friends, we stopped at a roadside diner for lunch. I ordered a chicken sandwich and when it arrived, I took a huge bite out of it, only to realize that it was still completely raw in the middle. FML
Today, I was working and eating. I was so tired that I bit into my pen and smeared my chocolate-filled pastry on my exercise book. FML
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Top comments
24788 7
God, I'm so hungry now. FYL though.
PianoManGidley 0
So what does it sound like? Just a general sizzle?
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Comments (115)
dirtyhippie 0
Ouch. I once heated a hotdog in the microwave and the sauce that was already on it got ultra hot, and the same thing happened to me. I even got a big blister on the roof of my mouth for a couple of days- lesson learned. lol @ pizza mouth - I'm sure it's happened to lots of ppl
purple5 0
What does burning the inside of your cheeks sound like btw? Just out of curiousity :3 That's gotta hurt, but to people asking how you didn't feel the heat...I'm guessing maybe you were wearing an oven mitt/oven gloves/some other thing to take hot things out the oven with? Then I could see why you didn't realise how hot it was, I've done that before with oven chips - it'sl ike, arrgh, buuuuurn! Lol Hope it heals quick, and if it's really bad and hurts to eat...it's always a great excuse to eat lots of icecream! ;)
adelaide_evening 0
Unless you have the reflexes of a dead cow or were wearing oven mitts (possibly), I think your reflexes would have kicked in way before you could have managed to get the crust to your mouth.
Dimaranien 1
dude, that bites. ha! no pun intended! :P oh, and im a waitress, so the whole feeling heat thing, yeah. lost that months ago.
Big_Kane 3
This is why we should make dangerous toys for young children.
dorowz 0
Really? How did you not realize how hot it would be? Were you wearing an oven mit to eat it?
yui567 0
hahah nice reference #4
zargon 1
YDI. Really, any "FML" that includes "without thinking" when thinking would have avoided the FML is a YDI.... Also, #4, I didnt' know Red Dragon was considered obscure? I thought that was a pretty popular movie and series?
js4138 0
I'm with #27. Darwin rolls in his grave at FMLs like this.
Philinchains 0
Genius. Your an Idiot. Maybe a fat Idiot who cant wait for food to cool before trying to wolf it all down. but then again if that was the case this wouldnt have been the first time and by now you would have been used to it. so maybe you should have a snack while you wait instead of dying to eat. then you would have had the sense to wait till it wasnt hot.