Anonymous
Israel
Today, I asked my lazy daughter to go make her bed. She responded by lighting our garbage bin on fire. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Anonymous
United States
Today, I found out my little sister is a pyromaniac. She set my bed on fire. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Twisted firestarter
Today, my daughter somehow got a hold of the lighter we keep on top of the fridge. I found this out when she snuck up behind me and thought it would be fun to set my hair on fire. FML
lazy lazy lazy!
Weird logic
Today, I realized how lazy my daughter truly is when I saw her shivering under a thin blanket on top of her perfectly made bed. I asked why she didn’t just climb under her covers to sleep warm and comfortable. She said that this way she doesn’t have to make up her bed every morning. FML
Anonymous
Canada
Today, my young daughter came up to me, grabbed my face and said, "I'm putting you in the garbage." When I laughed and asked why, she looked me dead in the eye and said, "You are trash." FML
oh dear
France
Today, my daughter threw a can of hairspray into the fireplace because she saw someone do it on YouTube. FML
Anonymous
Tetchy
Today, I got home and my wife asked me why I hadn’t taken the bin out or cleaned the living room. I asked her why she hadn’t done it since she got fired 6 months ago for laziness and since then has sat on her ass watching daytime TV instead of job searching. She threw a mug at my face. FML
anonymous
France
Today, I put out a fire. Sadly, it was on my doorstep because someone had lit a bag of dog poop. FML
Anonymous
Madison, United States
Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML
failure as a parent
Bound Brook, United States
Today, my teenage daughter nearly burned down our house because she wanted to take "artsy" pictures with a lighter for Instagram. FML
baldspot
Australia
Today, my daughter decided to wake me up by putting the vacuum in my hair and turning it on. FML
Top comments
lozowen 10
Wow. Physco child!
JoeGrant 12
Your request got her fired up, it seems.
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Comments (122)
DeviOomaki 9
Hmm.. Seems I've been making my bed wrong all along. Forgot the "light something on fire" part.
Kamon97 23
Boy that escalated quickly...
Omfgitsmia 15
That escalated quickly
Kamon97 23
Too bad I said it first :p
DocBastard 40
Too bad it wasn't funny when either of you said it.
Kamon97 23
Neither is your picture of a bottle up someone's ass, seriously we don't need to know your medical situation...
olpally 33
He's a real doctor #46, you idiot. That's a patient that was x-rayed.
Kamon97 23
Well sorry for not stalking other people's profiles on FML >.>
Sports_guy3 28
Just stop Kamon97. No one messes with Doc.
Futacy 30
That's DocBastard. If you were a regular cpmmenter, ypu wouldn't have to stalk his profile to know who he is.
MysticMonkey 9
Future arsonist.
jdeezy01 13
You mean current arsonist....
srbuckley322 10
Now, she would need either matches or a lighter to have lit her garbage can on fire. I, personally, would never let a child have matches, or put them anywhere where a kid could possibly get them, so for that, YDI
Sputnikspak 13
You know a kid can walk into a convenience store and ask for a book of matches and get one, right? Also, age is a factor here.
steve26113 7
You should keep an eye on her before she does something more... Crazy...
rhysfucker 24
You raised her. If she's lazy and disrespectful that's on you. If she stays that way as an adult it's on her.
ileenefudge 29
I take it you are not a parent, and I hate when people say things like this because it's a stupid naive thing to say. You can raise a child with love and care, manners and all, and they could still do the wrong thing and end up dead or in jail. It it the choices the kid makes as they grow up that either helps or hurts their chances at success. While a parent plays a big role in the kids behavior, it doesn't dictate the rest of their lives and it is based on the kid and their choices more than the parent.
ZombieSazza 34
If she's old enough then tell her to move out, then she can burn her own house.
anonymous_365 12
Spank her ass.
Blink_me26 21
Wtf? She needs some severe punishment and discipline, stat!