Today, I asked a passenger what he wanted to drink. When he said marijuana, I started making pot jokes. He really asked for mineral water. I was given a drug test when we landed. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after arriving, I was told that there will be mandatory drug tests for everybody at my work. Yesterday, I did joints at a friend's party, as it was her birthday. I'm fucked. FML
Today, I was told I would not be getting the job I was offered because I failed my drug test. They never gave me a drug test. FML
Today, I'm a proud non drug user, but I trusted an oat cookie at my brother's birthday, which was loaded with pot. Tomorrow is our mandatory drug screening at work, my job is government based, and I worked my ass off to get it. Anyone who tests positive or misses the test is sacked immediately. FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML
Today, I got fired for failing a drug test for weed. My boss is the one who sells me weed. FML
Today, I went for a job interview. I was asked if I wanted a drink. I have no idea why, but I replied "a bottle of milk please." FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, I was cruising with a coworker and his friend, and I started getting tired. His friend offered me a caffeine pill. It wasn't caffeine. It was laxatives. FML
Today, I had to take a drug test for a new job. I ended up spilling the cup of piss all over myself. I had to explain what had happened, then go sit in a waiting room full of disgusted-looking people, while I kept drinking water to fill my bladder back up. FML
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Top comments
Georgia0p 17
Who drinks marijuana..
fuckedPriceless 17
Hard to understand accent, perhaps? I'm sorry OP, but at least it sounds like you passed and/or don't actually smoke.
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Comments (55)
fuckedPriceless 17
Hard to understand accent, perhaps? I'm sorry OP, but at least it sounds like you passed and/or don't actually smoke.
ktm71125 19
I agree, it's good to find a joke out of it, and not actually do it.
Maccaroney 11
I find that being educated on the subject and a pro-marijuana, non-smoker get's people to listen to what i have to say on the subject.
iAmPaul 49
#15 - find that that's completely irrelevant here, and that no one gives a shit.
Georgia0p 17
Who drinks marijuana..
Jreslier 15
Me.
doctorhook86 25
#5: That's called "bong water", and it's technically not marijuana.
ImTheAlpha 30
a very stoned person who gets their verbs mixed up?
chinaski7628 32
There are pot laced sodas and juices that some of the medical marijuana dispensaries here in California sell. It sounds repulsive to me, though.
cjwayy 22
I guess you could drink liquid THC. But it sounds disgusting.
cdawg69 10
obviously your not a stoner..good for you stay in school
dubb420 15
there is actually an alcoholic drink called marijuana.
tacopandaroo 12
You can make tea out of marijuana as well.
stillalive33 14
I'm not exactly sure how you get "marijuana" from "mineral water" unless you're lip reading
Rozza17 29
#3 as #1 said, OP probably didn't understand the passenger because of an accent.
sarah5745 41
Maybe his accent was different, so op didn't get exactly what he was saying
sarah5745 41
Oops got there a bit late :/
doctorhook86 25
#3: Also, airplanes are hella noisy.
Burna 1
There's a mexican brand of mineral water called, "Mineragua". So he was probably asking for that.
ohSNAPyall 27
Maybe the passenger was a mumbler.
FutureMatty 24
Sir, would you like some snacks with that ? lol
Enslaved 38
Yeah, watch OP mistakenly hear him ask for a bag of penis vs peanuts.
sarah5745 41
I'm not sure that everyone drinks marijuana..
eaglerob 20
With 10 bags of Doritos, please
DBShinigami_fml 6
He *actually* asked for mineral water. Just saying.
breeaannuuhh 14
Oh? Oh did he? Really? Thank you for clarifying that, I couldn't figure that out from the FML.
vikky538 29
when you are working in customer service industry...its your job to make sure what customers really asking... TWICE...
Ichiya 29
When people go to a customer service person they should make sure they know what they are adking and say it clearly.
laden_swallow09 35
Though the passenger may have a heavy accent, doncha just hate it when people don't make the effort to enunciate their syllables? Just mumble and slur. The way I figure it, if you can't be bothered to let people understand what you're saying, then you don't really have anything worthwhile to say. Honest mistake on OP's part.
LittleBastard 20
I hope you're joking. Half the time when I talk I mumble, and I sound like I'm talking clearly, in my head.
moniqueee18 13
You must have been really high in the sky