Today, I left early from a trashy dance and bought a soda at a Shell station. The clerk asked me if I had been smoking weed. When I replied, "No", he said, "You mean you always look like that?" FML
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Wild Nights Out
Last call, bad decisions and 3 a.m. texts you'll regret until noon. Cheers.
Today, I went grocery shopping. Being a bartender, I had a huge wad of dollar bills from cash tips. As I was counting them at the register, I looked at the cashier and joked, "You probably think I'm a stripper or something." He looked me up and down and said, "Uh... hell no." FML
Today, I got pulled over for a broken taillight. When I rolled down the window, the cop asked me if I was smoking crack. When I told him I didn't do drugs, he didn't believe me since he could detect a foul odor coming from my car. I'd just passed gas big time. FML
Today, upon arriving at a town festival, I was immediately singled out by a rent-a-cop. He began questioning if I had been drinking, saying he smelt it on my breath. He smelt his own breath. FML
Today, when I went to the gas station to buy beer, some underage punk outside asked me to buy him booze. I told him to get bent, but the dumbass cashier had seen me talking to him, and refused to let me buy alcohol because, "This is obviously a sting." FML
Today, I got pulled over for speeding. I know that I was in the wrong and will take responsibility for that. When the cop handed me my ticket, he asked me if I was smoking crack. I denied it because I don't do drugs. He asked me what that foul odor was. I was passing gas. FML
Today, I was walking down the sidewalk and heard a little girl ask her dad why I had blue hair. He said, "Sometimes drugs will make people do stupid things." FML
Today, in a grocery store, the cashier asked if we found everything OK. Before I could answer, my kid said, “Mom says the shop smells like poor people.” I don’t even remember saying that, but judging by the cashier’s face it must be a family business. FML
Today, while in line at the grocery store, I was going over the witty but caustic things I wish I'd said in an argument earlier. Turns out, I was saying them out loud. The cashier gave me a weird look and said, “Are you okay, ma'am?” FML
Today, my dad sat me down and angrily accused me of doing drugs, all because he's noticed I've recently become a lot more energetic and emotional than usual. The truth is, I'd been smoking weed daily for 3 years and just decided to never smoke it again 2 weeks ago. FML
Today, my coworker told me that I needed to quit smoking because it was making me look and smell horrible. I've never smoked in my life. FML
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Top comments
MrSassypants 34
26 it's a shell station own by Sally that sells those seashells at a seashore. She doesnt make much money because well she is selling seashells at a seashore and people can just go to the shore and get the seashells by themselves. So Sally, she started selling soda at her seashell store located by the seashore so she can make more cash.
FlashBurn 13
Dude, I have a problem with dry eyes and I swear it always looks like I'm stoned. I've even been asked at work! Of course I don't smoke anything, and even passed the drug test. Use eye drops, lol.
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Comments (150)
i97 3
FYL
herrobear 0
What's a trashy dance?
LOLbomb 1
Better question: What's a Shell station? I assume it's a store that sells seashells and soda? An odd combination. o.O
HannahForbesxo 13
#19, they just end up with people infected with salmonella and pregnancy, damn you trashy dances!
MrSassypants 34
26 it's a shell station own by Sally that sells those seashells at a seashore. She doesnt make much money because well she is selling seashells at a seashore and people can just go to the shore and get the seashells by themselves. So Sally, she started selling soda at her seashell store located by the seashore so she can make more cash.
hbkkbh6h8 0
he's the one working at a gas station...
seanders 10
Now you know why it was a trashy party you got invited to.:p
turtlemansam 6
People dance while throwing trash at each other? is our society that bored?
gangstaco_ol 3
what the hell is wrong with all you guys who fell for that description of trashy dances? are you guys that dumb?
eminemchick 19
19 lmfao
Idonebeenhad 17
Step one: Smell like weed. Step two: Get arrested Step three: ????? Step four: Profit!
NastyNinja31 0
step one: b black step two: get beat by police step: ????
CompettiveCheer 0
51, I'm almost positive there is sarcasm intended.
llCHR15ll 0
No, your all wrong. a shell station is not a gas station, nor is it a place where you purchase shells. it can purely and simply be compared to a train station with the only difference being is that you ride a shell........ silly silly people ;)
Jake_2013 0
Gas stations are scary!!
TookaWooka666 0
Don't look like a smelly hippie next time I guess.
ThanksKarma 0
I guess trashy meant that you "had" to go to the party looking like garbage. If that's not the case you should invest in some under eye cream or a paper bag.
ATLBOI770 0
shell the best gas station for me
ONExLOVE_fml 4
natural high? :)
CanWeMicrowaveIt 11
87- SKRILLEX
chaps93 6
81- you're trying a little too hard there buddy
astriofou 0
O.o sad thing is, this intrigues me to get a cat and jump in a lake..
STOPBANNINGME 0
YDI, beatnik!!
hahafylop 4
Wow, that's harsh... The clerk needs to mind his business.
missbreann 0
lol wow
EagorLuvsBigFoot 8
that's all u could come up with "lol WOW"? for poops sake think harder next time! I hate comments like these
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
It is one of those peeps that post short comments to be "1st"...sigh..
missbreann 0
I don't give a **** about being first you ****. don't judge before you know the truth.
rararauhuh 5
Haha, that sucks. Maybe you were just tired from the dance.
Iamnotmyself 17
Or maybe the OP is part chimpanzee! Keep an open mind anything can happen.
rararauhuh 5
Ahha, you win.
xleanne_aLly 23
my best friend smokes weed and shes really skinny. I don't smoke weed as much as she does but I'm also skinny. I think people who are fat and smoke were probably just fat to begin with.
c8750 2
100 WTF How does your comment have any relevancy to the original post or the comment you replied to? Fail, my friend
xleanne_aLly 23
because the clerk asked op is s/he was smoking weed because s/he is fat. I'm just stating that not everyone that smokes weed is fat.
xleanne_aLly 23
OOH lmfao I'm blind without my glasses I thought it said, "You mean you always were that fat?" hahaha fail.
peakcheer 2
way to be positive. trashy dances always were ya out.
BigOrca 2
better buy a 5 hour energy shot.
awesomemarcus 0
I TOOK IT I THREW IT ON THE GROUND
shaubygal 11
hellsssss yesssssssss!!!!!
tinkerbell1357 0
haha... 7 i looove your pic its funny as shitt
mozeltov 7
OP is a guy
FlashBurn 13
Dude, I have a problem with dry eyes and I swear it always looks like I'm stoned. I've even been asked at work! Of course I don't smoke anything, and even passed the drug test. Use eye drops, lol.
BADDiam 4
he just said use eyedrops
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I hear a drop of bleach in your pee does the trick nicely.
unvmesucka 0
Absolute detox 1hr before does wonders.
Leah_Adelle 0
you can pass it by not doing drugs..
NastyNinja31 0
lmao @32
cockseverywhere 2
33 yep. :) just scrape some dry bleach under your finger nails and sprinkle it in after you pee BAM passed drug test
sensoon15 7
or you could just drink vinegar and water while smoking or after smoking. I've heard from many people it works.
Leah_Adelle 0
just stating the obvious solution.
jessyrodgers 0
but bleach still fails
RUSH777 0
iiCaptain; hahahahhahahaha.
mariahjoomeh 0
At least you looked trashy for a trashy dance.
IIIXIII 0
perma-stoned...nice!!
PopRocks14 0
you should have dumped it on his/hers head or walked out without paying. fyl definatly.
alex6946 10
why?, the worker was just asking a question, its not like he harrased him..